Thank You Odi.

Odi,

Thank you for the cupcake, it was really good.

It tasted good on my hand, too.Here, let me give you a kiss.
Oh, I forgot about the wrapper! Yuuuummmm...Happy Birthday Odi!

Peanutbutter and Gratitude.

At lunchtime yesterday, I was making my own turkey and cheese sandwich while Ian sat in front of his plate, with a Peanutbutter and Jelly Sandwich, Broccoli and Ranch. In my opinion, this was a magical combination. I had even cut the sandwich into a dinosaur shape.

As I hungrily grabbed the Turkey out of the fridge, I hear a "nooope."
"Yes, Ian?" I asked.
"Prpfjsh," Ian said. He likes to keep me guessing, which I assume is the reason he still isn't saying full sentences. Its a game.
"How ya doin' on that yummy sandwich?" I asked him.
"Nooope."

And so, our conversation continued, with lots of whines (from both of us) and some stern words. At one point, I stopped in my tracks, as I said "Be thankful I made you ANYTHING, Ian." I felt like as I said it... well, I don't know how to describe it.

I've always known God speaks to me in audible whispers. Especially when he's HAD IT with me and I'm just not listening. This time, I heard him speaking the exact same words to me as I was saying them to Ian. "Be thankful for what I've given you," God said to me.

I stopped, and listened. Again, the words came out of my mouth, almost yelling at Ian "BE THANKFUL!" And it felt like God was just YELLING at me.

I don't need any more than what I have. Biblically, as long as we have forgiveness and some daily bread, we don't need anything more. I have my daily bread, coffee, family, occasional sweets, etc. I don't need more. I have a car that WORKS. I have a warm place to sleep, and to protect my kids on cold days. I don't need anything more. I even have internet and a TV. I honestly sometimes want to THROW them out the window (the second story window), and cancel our fancy Comcast-ness.

My prayer lately has been "Lord please make me satisfied," and I think I'm getting there.

Just a short blog before I shut the computer off for the day.

I remember as a freshman in high school, being asked "Kelly, why are you ALWAYS SMILING?" And I remember thinking in my head "Well, I'm a Christian. I have no reason not to smile." But I never said it.

That song "I'm so happy, so very happy, I've got the love of Jesus in my hea-ah-ah-ah-art" just popped into my head.

My thought is, am I emanating that happiness in my own life, and to those around me? I don't ALWAYS have to be happy about what happens in my life, but I can emanate the joy that comes from knowing Christ.

Thanks Bro.

Thanks to 1) my brother and 2) his hand-me-down digital camera, I managed to shoot these pictures this weekend. Yay for help from a professional and a NOT-crappy camera!

These are pics of Aaron's parents' yard.

Sea Links Golf Course.

The men (Ian wouldn't just "go over there")

I and my parachute and ma in her sun hat
had just settled down for a long springtime nap.

Look, no RED EYE! YAaaaaayy!!!

Hmm.

So, I am having a moment of self-realization, and feeling its ok to blog about. Its not as much a journal entry as it is a God moment and questioning my perspective. If anyone has thoughts on this, feel free to respond. And if you are in the category of people I'm describing, please take this as a generalization, and not that I am pinpointing any one person.

I have a hard time asking God for anything. I want to be thankful. I want to be satisfied with what I have, never asking for anything more, and never needing anything more. I feel there is too much going on in the world--too many people out there living destitute, either physically or spiritually--for my requests to really matter.

I am a strong Christian, with a strong faith. I believe we are sinful, that we have faults, but that God's grace covers us.

I don't really believe I deserve much. I have a good life, a GREAT family and friends, and I have pretty much what I need, and a little bit of what I want. In our financial situation, our parents have been such a blessing in so many ways. We really are blessed as far as being "taken care of."

But, I want our family to be independent. I don't want to depend on people financially, I don't want to have to ask for babysitting all the time, and I'd LOVE to not be on the government programs we're on, although I'm thankful for it.

I have heard people tell stories in church about how once they put faith in God to provide financially--once they let their worries go and put all their trust in Him-- they saw results. But I don't want to do that "just because I think God will provide for me." I want to do that BECAUSE I want to follow God, and not because I NEED something. Does that make sense?

Hmm... I don't really know how to conclude.

Off to play frisbee with Ian.