I've talked a whole lot about the influence of music on my life, so as I sit here listening to Lady Gaga sing "Bad Romance," I thought it would be fitting that I write about some of my favorite songs and why. Yes, that sounds incredibly boring. However, I think you'll find my song choices oddly fascinating.
First, let's take it back to 1996. There I was, 15 years old, taking drivers ed, eating cafeteria lunches having crushes on boys who don't know I'm even alive. Cue "Flood" by Jars of Clay as it pours over the speakers in the school cafeteria. No one else in the cafeteria knows it, but I know this is a Christian song. I love that its playing at school and no one knows what its really about. I can still smell the Taco Salad (I LOVED Wednesdays), I can still feel the swish of my extremely cool soccer warmups, and just waiting for *insert name here* to walk by. Its funny, of all the places I hung out in high school, this old cafeteria that has since been renovated, is my most vivid, lasting memory of high school.
1998. A close friend of mine through church mainly listened to Boston, Steve Miller Band... pretty much anything in that genre was in his collection. I'd say that friend was the only reason I ever had an "oldies phase." I moved on to bands like Fleetwood Mac, Madonna, and finally... CHICAGO. Yep you guessed it, I was suddenly hooked on "You're the Inspiration" about a decade too late. I was frequently caught busting out the mad lip-syncing skills whenever it came on the radio (back when you had to WAIT for the right song to play and couldn't listen to it on Spotify like I am now). It was also the cause of most of my infatuations turning into crushes. Pretty much if you were a boy, and were moderately cute, I had a crush on you. Just sayin. I blame this song for making me entirely too silly for my own good.
Only a few months into college in 2000, my love affair with country music began. Ever since then its been at the forefront of my music choices (in addition to Evanescence and System of a Down, but we'll get to that later). Nickel Creek was the band that made me DREAM of playing violin on a broader level someday, and I discovered I had an okay voice. "When You Come Back Down" was one song that spoke to me and pulled me in. I remember lying on my bed with my eyes closed listening to the mix of all the instruments, dreaming of being in that world... getting to perform and play music with people who loved it as much as I did. Still not there... but maybe someday.
Ahh, Amy from Evanescence. That girl has some pipes. She can sing the way I FEEL. The year 2003... I had too many road trips between Spokane and Seattle NOT to pump up the music and shout at the top of my lungs with no regard to how crazy I looked. When I met Aaron, I had been listening to Evanescence constantly through my car stereo. Then cue "Toxicity" by System of a Down, and you have me pretty much pegged for that time period. Sweet and senstive, with a crazy but moderately clean style in music. :) Don't even get me started on their song "BYOB"... if you are anywhere above the age of 50, I don't suggest even trying to listen to this, but I think its AWESOME. I freaked out when I first heard it on the radio.
And finally, here we are in the year 2011. Do me a favor, and watch this music video. Even just the first 20 seconds, when you see this innocently handsome man appear on screen with the deepest voice I have ever heard.
Why Don't We Just Dance . And try to tell me you didn't swoon for a moment. :)
That's all I have. I'd post things about what I've been up to, but most likely you've all read my Facebook status updates for the past many years, and know everything about me. :)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Memories Discovered.
We recently pulled our somewhat old desktop computer out of the basement. I knew what I would find on that hard drive would be full of memories, but I had literally no idea how much I had stored on there that I forgot about. ALL the songs I wrote in college, all my favorite emails, journal entries, all my term papers and assignments, and the majority of my young little family's pictures just SITTING there, not being viewed. Not only am I not skilled in the art of scrapbooking, I also apparently lack the skill to burn all my best pics onto a CD and take them in to Costco. We all know that's not true, but sometimes it feels like it, the way I procrastinate on this issue.
Above all these memories, I found my most cherished file folder: "Verse of the Day" entries.
I spent the second half of my Freshman year at Gonzaga waking up to my Bible, laptop, and flood of thoughts. I somehow managed to develop a list of close to 100 followers who apparently thought I had something to share. I sent out a single email every morning, including a few thoughts and a verse to go with it. I felt privileged that God used me the way He did, and I remember a constant flow of wisdom and ENERGY from God I just didn't understand.
And now I look back, and wish I was there (to some extent). I remember the peace of waking up and letting God speak through me in that very specific way, and wish I could do that again. I think I express myself and God speaks through me, in a very different way now.
Sadly, one of the email accounts I used in college went inactive and deleted itself, along with the majority of my entries. But I am thankful for the ones left. Its not like "The Word" died with my email account or anything, but my memories sure did. My friend Erika had actually suggested I turn them into a book. That became my plan eventually, but once my account disappeared, so did that desire.
So... here I am being used for God's will in ways I never expected, wondering if I'll ever really go back to that. We change throughout life, in our personality, giftings, and talents. We're not always meant to do what we once did. But I hope and pray my writing and my music never leave me. Then again... it could be God's way of showing me he's in control. :)
Above all these memories, I found my most cherished file folder: "Verse of the Day" entries.
I spent the second half of my Freshman year at Gonzaga waking up to my Bible, laptop, and flood of thoughts. I somehow managed to develop a list of close to 100 followers who apparently thought I had something to share. I sent out a single email every morning, including a few thoughts and a verse to go with it. I felt privileged that God used me the way He did, and I remember a constant flow of wisdom and ENERGY from God I just didn't understand.
And now I look back, and wish I was there (to some extent). I remember the peace of waking up and letting God speak through me in that very specific way, and wish I could do that again. I think I express myself and God speaks through me, in a very different way now.
Sadly, one of the email accounts I used in college went inactive and deleted itself, along with the majority of my entries. But I am thankful for the ones left. Its not like "The Word" died with my email account or anything, but my memories sure did. My friend Erika had actually suggested I turn them into a book. That became my plan eventually, but once my account disappeared, so did that desire.
So... here I am being used for God's will in ways I never expected, wondering if I'll ever really go back to that. We change throughout life, in our personality, giftings, and talents. We're not always meant to do what we once did. But I hope and pray my writing and my music never leave me. Then again... it could be God's way of showing me he's in control. :)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Me.
Hey Everyone...just a brief blog post to let you know I'm alive
I haven't necessarily been too busy to blog lately. Honestly, anyone can pop onto a computer and throw a great blog post together in a couple minutes. Its more like my head has been FULL OF STUFF, and the last thing I want to do is spew it on the random bloggerby (that's like passerby, but online. I made it up).
I typed and backspaced multiple times before realizing all that was coming out was a diary entry. See ya next time I have something worth publicly expressing! Haha!
I haven't necessarily been too busy to blog lately. Honestly, anyone can pop onto a computer and throw a great blog post together in a couple minutes. Its more like my head has been FULL OF STUFF, and the last thing I want to do is spew it on the random bloggerby (that's like passerby, but online. I made it up).
I typed and backspaced multiple times before realizing all that was coming out was a diary entry. See ya next time I have something worth publicly expressing! Haha!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Snapshots in Music
I am driven by music. I said this in an earlier post, but sometimes I forget how true this statement really is. I have a song memory for every stage in life. Every boyfriend (unfortunately), my close friends, places I have visited, and sometimes even food or a restaurant has a song that goes along with it. My memory is exponentially enhanced by the music that runs through me.
As I sat down tonight to blog, naturally I opened up Pandora. The first song that started playing was "How Great is Your Love" by MercyMe. Interesting, how the flood of emotions, memories, images, even smells come back listening to this particular song. And almost instantly, my mind (and a piece of my heart) went back to a single moment in 2001, and "Ocean" by Ten Shekel Shirt started pouring through my head.
I spent the summer after my freshman year in college up at Lakeside Bible Camp on Whidbey Island. I was on staff as the Program Assistant, running games, doing random jobs for various people, and running around in the chicken suit occasionally. I also managed to get spanked with an omelet-covered spatula because I was teasing the cook. I was pretty much the camp gopher for an entire summer. While this completely messed with my need for a consistent workout routine in between college soccer seasons, it was quite possibly one of the most memorable summers in my small existence.
One day the staff headed out to play on the local playground, one of those castle structures FULL of tag and sardines potential. If anyone tries to tell you 20-year-olds are too old for playing a little sardines on the playground in mid-daylight, I am now proving you wrong. I remember about a handful of us fit into the large tire, and I think I remember someone hurting their ankle at some point, but I can't remember who it was.
As we drove out of the parking lot, Nicole was driving, I was shotgun, and Erin, Sarah, and either Joel or Cory were in the backseat. The song "Ocean" came on and I think I remember we all went quiet and listened to the lyrics. Someone remarked afterward that it was her new favorite song. Funny, I bet that person has moved onto to different songs and different music. But my snapshot will always hold still that song, and that moment.
I will never forget that summer, those images... from random nights out driving around the island, to late-night canoe rides and deep-sinking with grapes and root-beer, to having Narnia right in our very own closet, MercyMe and Ten Shekel Shirt. I also need to track down our silly staff video with me getting hit by a large rubber ball... actually two.
Click. :)
As I sat down tonight to blog, naturally I opened up Pandora. The first song that started playing was "How Great is Your Love" by MercyMe. Interesting, how the flood of emotions, memories, images, even smells come back listening to this particular song. And almost instantly, my mind (and a piece of my heart) went back to a single moment in 2001, and "Ocean" by Ten Shekel Shirt started pouring through my head.
I spent the summer after my freshman year in college up at Lakeside Bible Camp on Whidbey Island. I was on staff as the Program Assistant, running games, doing random jobs for various people, and running around in the chicken suit occasionally. I also managed to get spanked with an omelet-covered spatula because I was teasing the cook. I was pretty much the camp gopher for an entire summer. While this completely messed with my need for a consistent workout routine in between college soccer seasons, it was quite possibly one of the most memorable summers in my small existence.
One day the staff headed out to play on the local playground, one of those castle structures FULL of tag and sardines potential. If anyone tries to tell you 20-year-olds are too old for playing a little sardines on the playground in mid-daylight, I am now proving you wrong. I remember about a handful of us fit into the large tire, and I think I remember someone hurting their ankle at some point, but I can't remember who it was.
As we drove out of the parking lot, Nicole was driving, I was shotgun, and Erin, Sarah, and either Joel or Cory were in the backseat. The song "Ocean" came on and I think I remember we all went quiet and listened to the lyrics. Someone remarked afterward that it was her new favorite song. Funny, I bet that person has moved onto to different songs and different music. But my snapshot will always hold still that song, and that moment.
I will never forget that summer, those images... from random nights out driving around the island, to late-night canoe rides and deep-sinking with grapes and root-beer, to having Narnia right in our very own closet, MercyMe and Ten Shekel Shirt. I also need to track down our silly staff video with me getting hit by a large rubber ball... actually two.
Click. :)
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Food.
I guess we could really call this post "For The Record." I don't really have anything to prove; I guess I just like to give people glimpses into my real life, and not my online life. I don't think I act differently... I just think a lot gets lots in translation.
Last night, I threw together a batch of homemade flatbread. Whilst (sounds regal) I cooked the flatbread, I browned a little Garlic in Olive Oil, then threw in Salt and Organic Roma Tomatoes, and simmered it for about a half hour as it magically transformed into the most magnificent pizza sauce EVER. Meanwhile, I baked up some simple cheese pizzas on flatbread for my kids with some Organic sauce from the store. THEN, I sauteed a little Kale from my sister-in-law's garden, added Basalmic Vinegar, and proceeded to create heaven-in-a-pizza. Flatbread, Homemade Roma Tomato Sauce, Fresh Chopped Persian Cucumbers, Mozzarella Cheese, topped with sauteed Kale. By the way, did I mention the only actual recipe I used was for the flatbread, and I even partially created THAT recipe?! Didn't take pictures... I pretty much devoured the pizzas in two seconds.
All that to say, I want to share why I feel I can brag about this: I am absolutely and positively NOT a cook! And no way would I ever call myself a baker! Its why I married Aaron!
My Mother (who shall hopefully feel complimented and flattered by my saying this) tried her darndest to get me to sew, garden, cook, and bake as a kid. I believe I enjoyed it... at least until the oh-so-natural rebellious phase kicked in, and suddenly I wanted nothing to do with any of that. I think that's the only rebellion I ever went through. Sad really, I could have been so much more experienced by now at all that stuff. Thanks Mom, for instilling the values and skills at an early age!
I hate recipes. I'm great at starting them, but all I have to do is act a little airheaded and my husband swoops right in and finishes off the meal. I have started to tell him not to... I need to learn how to cook and finish off a recipe at some point in my life!
Then there's the whole fresh, organic, gardening... the thought of any of that used to completely overwhelm me. Plus calorie counting, the food pyramid, and limiting sweets... so sad.
I think through high school and college, it didn't really matter to me. Anything I ate I burned off in no time flat due to my constant athletic involvement, so I didn't have to think about it. I didn't even pay attention to my diet in college... and it probably could have helped my college soccer career last a little longer if I had been happier with my weight. Those school cafeterias and their unlimited selection... SO FUN. :) I probably consumed my lifetime intake of butter and salt in that place.
Fast forward 7 years, and here I am thinking way too often about what goes into my food, how its treated and grown, and how it will affect my body. Thanks to a little life experience, a few good friends and family members with good tips and resources, and LOTS of will power, I feel I am starting to feel physically better than I have ever felt. Cutting out modified sugars, pesticides, high-fructose corn syrup, and for now, MILK (I know, so sad)... feels so good.
And it feels good that I am figuring out how to cook what I LIKE to cook, and what my family enjoys. I felt too limited going through recipe books constantly, trying to make meals with a thousand ingredients, and getting completely overwhelmed. The best, most tasty food comes WHOLE! And somehow I create things I like better WITHOUT a cookbook. Guess I'm just wired a little differently.
Yes, I DO still consume many ingredients and foods that aren't so natural... its how we save money! I am simply trying to limit the amount of unnatural foods in my diet in the places it matters most! I do have lots to learn... LOTS.
So there's my food life in a nutshell. :P
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Seven Years!
feels like FOREVER
Yes that was a complete joke. It actually feels more like I've known my husband my entire life, or at least should have. But this marriage has felt like a day. I fell into LIFE with an amazing man who is humble and humbles me, loves me and our kids, keeps my mood swings in check, and makes me crack up even in the worst of moments. I am so thankful I fell in love with someone who complements me and completes me in so many ways! Happy Anniversary to my hubs, you rock my world. And yes I do like rock music... and country, and grunge, and easy listening, and classical, and oldies. I didn't lie to you about the rock. :P
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
God's Voice.
Most of the time, I hear God's voice in quiet whispers. I think that's a pretty good description of how I have felt in life. In most situations where I need guidance or a clear answer, I feel a gentle nudging, a quiet voice... and I know God is there guiding me.
To preface the rest of this blog, I posted on Facebook this morning that I thought something good was going to happen today.
Today was not that kind of day. At least, it didn't feel like it. My hair was uncooperative, kids woke up earlier than expected, I was forced to take an Allegra as my allergy symptoms progressed through the morning, the kids fought and bickered right up through lunchtime, and I failed miserably at any attempt at calm and collected parental discipline. On top of other stressors in my life, these silly, trivial issues completely crumbled me. By the time I made it to the office to get some work done, I was emotionally spent. I shouldn't have been drained, especially as you read back through this paragraph and consider what I "endured" today (LOL)... life simply happens, and typically I deal with it alright. But today, I just didn't. Thank God for great friends who can listen and empathize. Thank you Jasmine for being there for me. :)
The four of us managed to have a nice evening... ate some leftovers, watched a movie while we cut Aaron and Ian's hair, and gave the kids baths. As we settled down after the kids bath, I sent Aaron to pick up our dry laundry (we do laundry at my in-law's house).
As Aaron came back upstairs, he explained what he saw on his walk. Looking West, the sun set bright and clear as it peered over gorgeous grey and white clouds. Looking East over our cafe building, a full double rainbow.
I threw a coat on Ana and ran downstairs, grabbing my camera.
As I turned the corner and the full panorama of this amazing rainbow came into view, I held back tears as I realized God was speaking to me. Sure, the rainbow formed due to some scientific effect of the rain and sunlight, blah blah blah.
Unfortunately for science, I don't believe in coincidences when it comes to God's timing.
Everything could go wrong in my day, I can be exhausted and depressed, stressed over work and cleaning with kids screaming and fighting around me... but no matter what, God is good. And He shows it to us over. and over. and over.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Things.
Unlike most of my posts on this blog, this one isn't deeply thought out, connected in any way, or pre-meditated.
- There are two sides to me, and I can't ever quite figure out what triggers either side of my personality. I guess I'd compare myself with a two-sided Cassette tape. Side A: silly, random, light-hearted. Side B: intuitive, philosophical, emotional. Those who know me well see both sides. However, at times I feel most people don't really know me, and just don't get me.
- Tonight's sermon was called "Plan Be." I liked it. This weekend's "Be-Attitude" was having the realization that I am spiritually broke. You know, I guess you could call it one of my quirks but I have always been able to publicly and fully admit I am sinful, flawed, and completely inadequate. I have always been able to admit the only reason I am ANYTHING is because God created me and loves me. I was just thinking today about how easily we forget how much He sustains us. Every breath I take is because of God. But I do think where I don't fully grasp this concept is my inability to completely let go and let Him take over. I repeatedly take the stress, carry it in my upper back, melt down, then let God piece me back together (and ask my husband for a backrub). It would make much more sense if I allowed God to lead me in my entirety from the start.
- My husband summited Mount Baker today, I think for the fourth time. He is a muscle-packed 6-foot tall mountain man who happens to bake and cook extremely well, and loves our kids. We'll be married seven years on August 1st. He is my bestest friend, my comforting touch, and the servant heart who leads our family.
- I have had an interesting journey of ups & downs, and ins & outs with friends. Wow, I could write a book of the excitement, betrayal, gullibility, pain, confusion, despair, joy, giddiness, guilt, frustration, loneliness, peace... and each of those words brought up a different memory. Isn't it interesting how life works, and what we go through and still come out moderately healthy individuals? I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I do thank Christ for being my constant.
- Flavors I like that I didn't before: lemon, coconut, hazelnut, V8. And no, I don't think all of those would go together. But its seriously freaking me out that within this past year, I suddenly like these flavors I once despised. There go my taste buds!
- I still dream of playing pro soccer. Sure, I quit my college team and gave up my scholarship after my sophomore season, but someone would take me, right? Can't I at least just practice with them?!! You have to have massive credentials to make it that far, but I'm thinking if I just hop the fence and start running around like I'm on the team, no one will notice.
That's all folks.
- There are two sides to me, and I can't ever quite figure out what triggers either side of my personality. I guess I'd compare myself with a two-sided Cassette tape. Side A: silly, random, light-hearted. Side B: intuitive, philosophical, emotional. Those who know me well see both sides. However, at times I feel most people don't really know me, and just don't get me.
- Tonight's sermon was called "Plan Be." I liked it. This weekend's "Be-Attitude" was having the realization that I am spiritually broke. You know, I guess you could call it one of my quirks but I have always been able to publicly and fully admit I am sinful, flawed, and completely inadequate. I have always been able to admit the only reason I am ANYTHING is because God created me and loves me. I was just thinking today about how easily we forget how much He sustains us. Every breath I take is because of God. But I do think where I don't fully grasp this concept is my inability to completely let go and let Him take over. I repeatedly take the stress, carry it in my upper back, melt down, then let God piece me back together (and ask my husband for a backrub). It would make much more sense if I allowed God to lead me in my entirety from the start.
- My husband summited Mount Baker today, I think for the fourth time. He is a muscle-packed 6-foot tall mountain man who happens to bake and cook extremely well, and loves our kids. We'll be married seven years on August 1st. He is my bestest friend, my comforting touch, and the servant heart who leads our family.
- I have had an interesting journey of ups & downs, and ins & outs with friends. Wow, I could write a book of the excitement, betrayal, gullibility, pain, confusion, despair, joy, giddiness, guilt, frustration, loneliness, peace... and each of those words brought up a different memory. Isn't it interesting how life works, and what we go through and still come out moderately healthy individuals? I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I do thank Christ for being my constant.
- Flavors I like that I didn't before: lemon, coconut, hazelnut, V8. And no, I don't think all of those would go together. But its seriously freaking me out that within this past year, I suddenly like these flavors I once despised. There go my taste buds!
- I still dream of playing pro soccer. Sure, I quit my college team and gave up my scholarship after my sophomore season, but someone would take me, right? Can't I at least just practice with them?!! You have to have massive credentials to make it that far, but I'm thinking if I just hop the fence and start running around like I'm on the team, no one will notice.
That's all folks.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Ah, National Holidays.
Fourth of July. I am not incredibly patriotic, prefer to not wear red AND blue together, and can't afford to buy most of the stuff at the street fairs. But you know what, its my favorite holiday.Every year, we spend the Fourth with an amazing group of people... we eat amazing food, enjoy the parade as our kids scavenge the cement for thrown candy, eat more, drink a little (this year, Boundary Bay Scotch Ale), and lay around in the grass as giddily happy kids run around us.
I had a moment Monday when the sense of peace completely overwhelmed me. Sometimes I get those short glimpses of what heaven must be like... enjoying and loving my community of people who love God and care about each other. The soft breeze picking up scents of grilled meat, flowers and trees as I soak in the heat of the midday sun. Although I bet I won't need allergy medication in heaven.
I love LOVE spending time with my family. Two nights of fun with my parents, and Jer& Deen and their amazing kids. Finally winning at Cities&Knights, an extraordinarily nerdy game, but hey... we like it. And, at times, we're willing to stay up till insane hours of the night to finish it. :)
And I love my parent-in-laws' backyard how despite being in the middle of "downtown" Blaine, I feel like I'm in a secret garden.
The downtown stage always has awesome music. I love watching the musicians and singers, and dreaming of someday being put-together-enough to be up there. It'll happen. :)
To top it off, the best fireworks EVER (except the day Aaron told me he loved me and wanted to marry me). But in all seriousness, Blaine has the best fireworks show. I enjoy it too much to take pictures.
And that's pretty much it. Ahh...
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Colossians 1:17
"He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."
I can't go a single day without recognizing the significance of this statement. People have known it for years upon years, and it still rings true today. If you take a look at the rest of this passage in the Bible, it talks about Jesus being the image of God, who created everything and has power over everything seen and unseen. But this verse stood out to me above the rest.
In everything, I can find God. I don't mean he DWELLS in trees or cups of coffee, but I DO mean that in every life circumstance, I can see the hand of God. Once you are aware of this, you tend to see it more. In a quiet moment by myself before the sun rises, I can hear His quiet whisper telling me to enjoy the moment. As I drink my coffee, I know He's there with me like a coach, getting me ready for whatever lies ahead in my day.
As long as you acknowledge His presence in your life, I truly believe He will bless you. That obviously doesn't mean life will be better, perfect, or pretty. But, it DOES mean His hand will be your hand. His voice will be your voice. You'll know what God expects from you, and He will guide you in HIS path. I guess that does mean you have to care more what He wants than about your own dreams, but I guess that is a sacrifice I am willing to take. Its a sacrifice I have to commit myself to on a daily basis, or I just start to get greedy, selfish, stubborn, and self-focused.
If in Christ all things hold together, then out of Christ they simply fall apart.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Childhood Friends...
My friend Melissa has known me her whole life. I have known her since I was one year old. That would obviously make her the longest-running friend I have, and she visited me in Blaine today! It has been so fun growing in our friendship as the years have gone on, and discovering the many ways we're alike, not only between the two of us, but also between our kids! It was a great day catching up, playing at the park, eating DELICIOUS homemade flatbread chicken salad sandwiches, and just enjoying a beautiful sunny day. I love how she and I always fall into a natural conversation, despite how long its been since we've seen each other... this time 9 months since we last saw each other. I think its been overall just a fun experience for both of us (ok I can only speak for myself here) to see each other grow up, get married, raise a family, and follow Christ the whole way through it. What a fun adventure, and way to share life with someone. :)
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Joy.
The other night, I sat down with a heavy heart. I had a long, frustrating day of feeling intense burden about important things in my life, and feeling out of control. I also felt that my current inconsistency with REAL sit-down devotional time deserved a nice big slap in the face (mine). I sat down Sunday evening fully expecting to open my Bible to a passage telling me I was sinful, messed up, and utterly flawed. As much as I know ALL of those are possible in my character, God did not give me a wake-up slap in the face this time.
I opened my Bible and immediately felt I should turn to Psalm. After all, songs and expression have been on my mind quite a bit lately. Psalm 30 was ultimately the chapter I chose to focus on. I urge you to read it, but this part stuck out to me: "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever.."
At first, I thought God must be speaking something different into my life, and I just wasn't listening. Maybe I had turned to the wrong passage. But when I sat down with my pen to write, the thought occurred to me that I am ALLOWED to be joyful. Despite my flaws. Despite my mistakes and failures. Despite my distractedness, impatience... I am completely justified in my joy. Its ok to be overwhelmingly thankful, full of love, driven by passions, and to THRIVE despite the inadequate nature of my own being. I am thankful...
... for my family. For Ian, Ana, and my husband Aaron who forgives, loves, leads, and makes me feel incredibly important in this world with each 12 hour day he works to support us. For the rest of my family and the way each complete me in their own way.
... for sunsets. Something about sunsets completely moves me, and I am just not sure if I'll ever have an answer. Pictures don't do them justice. Ever.
...For magical moments. The picture below of Ana reminded me so much of creation. God gently and lovingly patting firm the dirt and rocks of the mountains as the sun shone down on the freshly created earth. I have moments like this regularly, and I figure they are just a glimpse into the permanent and lasting beauty of heaven.
...for friendships, new and old. Dear friendships I have cherished and held onto so tight as we grow and start new lives and families and move away. Cherished friends who appeared in my life just at the right time. Kindred spirits who completely get me, and accept me as I am. Each has an incredibly special place in my heart.
...for the area I live in. The beauty I breathe in and wake up to every day.
There is a line in a song we sing at our church that says "what joy for those whose hope is in the name of the Lord, what peace for those whose confidence is Him alone." It is completely true with me. Sometimes I forget that this joy is to share and not keep to myself, because it feels. so. good. I feel the joy, just like sugar, sweetens everything in life. It doesn't make it perfect, but it sure does taste better.
I opened my Bible and immediately felt I should turn to Psalm. After all, songs and expression have been on my mind quite a bit lately. Psalm 30 was ultimately the chapter I chose to focus on. I urge you to read it, but this part stuck out to me: "You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. LORD my God, I will praise you forever.."
At first, I thought God must be speaking something different into my life, and I just wasn't listening. Maybe I had turned to the wrong passage. But when I sat down with my pen to write, the thought occurred to me that I am ALLOWED to be joyful. Despite my flaws. Despite my mistakes and failures. Despite my distractedness, impatience... I am completely justified in my joy. Its ok to be overwhelmingly thankful, full of love, driven by passions, and to THRIVE despite the inadequate nature of my own being. I am thankful...
... for my family. For Ian, Ana, and my husband Aaron who forgives, loves, leads, and makes me feel incredibly important in this world with each 12 hour day he works to support us. For the rest of my family and the way each complete me in their own way.... for sunsets. Something about sunsets completely moves me, and I am just not sure if I'll ever have an answer. Pictures don't do them justice. Ever.
...For magical moments. The picture below of Ana reminded me so much of creation. God gently and lovingly patting firm the dirt and rocks of the mountains as the sun shone down on the freshly created earth. I have moments like this regularly, and I figure they are just a glimpse into the permanent and lasting beauty of heaven.
...for friendships, new and old. Dear friendships I have cherished and held onto so tight as we grow and start new lives and families and move away. Cherished friends who appeared in my life just at the right time. Kindred spirits who completely get me, and accept me as I am. Each has an incredibly special place in my heart.
...for the area I live in. The beauty I breathe in and wake up to every day.
There is a line in a song we sing at our church that says "what joy for those whose hope is in the name of the Lord, what peace for those whose confidence is Him alone." It is completely true with me. Sometimes I forget that this joy is to share and not keep to myself, because it feels. so. good. I feel the joy, just like sugar, sweetens everything in life. It doesn't make it perfect, but it sure does taste better.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Writer's Block
Being the visual person I am, when I considered diagnosing myself with writer's block, my brain literally envisioned a large cement block, and little me standing behind it, looking up. I would have just walked around it but the pools with sharks with laser beams and rabid dogs stood guard on either side... for miles. Then I considered jumping. I was a hurdler AND a high jumper when I participated (or rather victoried) in Track. I know how to jump quite well and, despite my vertically-challenged frame, I just might make it over. Not a chance. The brick was built just tall enough that even my hops couldn't get me over this one. Finally, as if a lightbulb had turned on in my head symbolizing a fantastic idea, a lightbulb turned on in my head. The brick was made of cheese. Slowly I started nibbling away at the giant brick, much like a mouse to its wheel of cheese. Then I realized I am not a mouse, but a person. And there are many ways to eat cheese.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I only have half the wheel of cheese left. Getting close. In the meantime, sorry blog world... not much excitement here.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I only have half the wheel of cheese left. Getting close. In the meantime, sorry blog world... not much excitement here.
Monday, May 16, 2011
to ian
To my nine pound five
The one who waited six days
To live outside the warm
Embrace of mother’s cave
To my ringlet boy
My blond haired ball of muscle
My warm milk guzzling
Bundle of joy
To my terrible love,
For juice and mother’s will
Collide, yet you are my pride
To my son who transforms
into rex or cheetah or bear
Preys on innocent princesses
Loves on wary tears
To the taller, growing still
Against my heart’s protecting will
Holding on, letting go
Journey onward, go boy, go!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Blessed Be Your Name.
This song pops into my head quite often. As a kid, I heard the words "blessed be Your name" very often. It became incredibly repetitive, but I sang it anyway simply out of my love for music. As I've grown, so has my understanding of just how many areas of our life we can apply this phrase to. I especially love the words in the bridge "You give and take away."When I think of those words, I think of everything in my life that I have gained and lost. I gained a husband, then lost my Uncle Bill of cancer. I gained two adorable kids but lost one in between.
And in the midst of all my gains and losses, there is one phrase that rings true. "My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name." Regardless of what happens... far beyond my fears, anxiety, desires, happiness, and victories, God's name will be praised in my life.
I do have down days. Today was one of them... well, more dreary than actually down. My heart was just heavy for some reason. Eh, maybe it was the rain. In any case... in my down days I recognize that God is near. But also when I am feeling filled up and satisfied in life... blessed be HIS name.
The hope of what's to come drives me onward, moves me along, and lifts my eyes to the sky.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Spring Cleaning
Lately, I have been slightly obsessed with cleaning, decluttering, sorting, filing, etc. Anything that makes my life easier and more manageable. The other day i made a mess of the dining room by creating a tent for the kids under the kitchen table, JUST so I could clean their room. And oh, did I clean it. I mean, I guess I didn't scrub the walls or anything. But I say with pride that their room looks amazing! I am sure my next project will be the pantry.
Yet, this post has nothing to do with my own efficiency and cleanliness. At some point this week, a thought popped into my head that actually made me stop what I was doing, and think.
Does God Spring Clean us?
I've been evaluating and reevaluating my life, obsessing over why at times I feel humbled, stripped down, broken, and confused. Sometimes in the past, all at once, I have felt life crash down on me. I couldn't say anything the right way, I couldn't keep my house clean, I felt lonely and broken... and in many ways I felt useless to the world.
But just when I felt I had nothing left, a hope rose inside me. I felt parts of my life were renewed, restored, and made clean. It didn't happen all at once, and obviously it can't all happen till I join God in heaven.
God strips down our pride. God is the One who cleans us, who sorts and organizes our life. We are like toddlers who empty toy bins with careless abandon. He puts it away neatly and labels it "God's."
Considering this Spring Cleaning analogy, I have to ask myself, "What am I doing the other seasons?" During the fullfilled and happy times, how am I serving God? During the complacent but willing times, how am I staying strong? During my depression, in my rage, and during times I feel useless to the world, how am I finding hope in God's promises? I guess I like to think at all times I at least accept the label that I am God's "project." :)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
My Son.
This post is simply about my four and a half year old son, Ian.
Its been a ride with this kid... but then again what kid wouldn't be referred to as a ride, a handful, or a maneuver?!
I actually don't have much to say. I am simply proud of him. I think what others see as a social flaw, I see as mental strength. My son is confident in who he is, and doesn't need to be forced or pressed into a mold. Sometimes I feel more pressure as Mommy to make him fit the mold.
But I always want to help Ian understand that I am GLAD he is a different kid than the rest. He is unique, gifted, talented in so many ways. And he has the greatest smile.
That is all. :)
Friday, April 22, 2011
Uprooting and Replanting.
In 2004, I graduated college, married Aaron, and uprooted my entire life. I had a home, family, amazing friends, favorite landmarks... literally everything I knew I left behind to start a new life here in Blaine. Goodness I understood what it MEANT to be uprooted, but never knew how it would feel. Lonely. Isolated. Useless. Tired. But hopeful.
As I began my so-called "new life" in Blaine, it took a while for it to really feel like home. I seriously resisted, although not very many people knew I SO wanted to move back to my hometown. I remember in 2008, four years into living here, I was heading home from a family function up on the hill east of downtown Blaine. As I reached the final view before descending into downtown Blaine, I looked up.
Rays of sun emerged from behind the clouds, and poured out onto the city. The bay and the islands in the distance glistened in the warmth of the sun, and "I Can Only Imagine" started playing on the radio. I quickly checked my mirrors and stopped at the top of the hill, and enjoyed a few seconds of pure joy before a car pulled out onto the road behind me. Didn't they know I was having a moment?!
Still, I shivered in awe of the beauty of this place, and realized this was my new place to love... this was my home. God moved me here. As long as I choose to follow where God is moving, He will make a home for me.
Which lands me exactly where I am now. Every person, church, community, and activity, that has been part of my life before and after moving to Blaine has been essential to who I am today. I value the people I have encountered, grown close to, and I value the people and places I have moved away from. We are all part of God's story. As I move on, parts of my life beautifully unfold.
I don't really know how to end this. Its not like the story's over. But I know where I am is where God wants me, and I am planted in a church, in a city, and in a community where I can thrive. The contentment and joy I feel knowing this is sometimes overwhelming. (which I would like to express in a monologue...)
I guess when you know you are fully seeking the will of God, something happens to your heart. I can't really explain it... its much easier to just believe, and experience it.
And that is all.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Music.
Goodness I just typed and held down the backspace key at least five times. Its best to just be honest and admit my insecurity of posting an imperfect blog entry! I love you, backspace key.
Music drives me. I posted this in Facebook and didn't realize how much it moves and influences me, until I took a step back (just now) and looked at my life.
I was raised in a large church. I remember standing on the pews singing at the top of my lungs, "Great is the Lord, He is faithful and true..." Maranatha music and church musicals were my favorite part of church (beside the awesome yoyo guy). We moved when I was only ten, so I missed out on continuing the art of "church musicals."
At ten years old, I also chose to continue soccer and quit ballet (and sometimes wish I could go back and try again just to see what would have happened). I loved dancing, with a PASSION. However, it is pretty funny to look back on what I remember to be very skillful dancing, only to find the recital tape has been recorded over with silly little girls in black leotards, ungracefully flopping and twirling around on stage.
I remember the music vividly though, and how I felt it deep inside me.
I picked up violin at the age of eleven, I think mostly because I didn't have the lung capacity at the time to play a wind instrument. But I like to think what they said was true, that the more intelligent people play in the orchestra. :) I played orchestra until I was 16, then continued to master the art of "playing without having to be instructed, and playing what I wanted when I wanted." By the time I hit college, I somehow managed to develop a skill of playing background violin for worship. I didn't even feel like I was playing music... my violin was a means to express how I felt.
In 8th Grade Choir, the one year I ever sang in an organized group on a regular basis, I was picked on for reasons I can't even remember. I remember the thrill of the stage, performing with a group, and fun costumes, but also remember just not cutting it. I didn't continue with choir. Instead, I chose to master my vocal talent in the shower, the car, my bedroom...
I also used music as my source of focus before soccer games and track meets. I'd flip through inspirational notecards for about 15 minutes before the meet or game started, and get lost in the music... usually a little DC Talk or Jars of Clay. I didn't even care what people around me thought... I was just in my element.
I learned guitar my junior year of high school. A friend of my brother taught me how to play "Free Fallin'" and the rest is history. Plus, it was a piece of cake to learn guitar. Guitars have these things called "frets" that help you play the right notes regardless of where your finger hits! Violins really should have those. :) The rest of my skill is somewhat self-taught, with some help of cute, guitar-playing guys in college.
I skipped teen angst... or I at least think I did. It hit more in college, and fortunately I managed to express it through poetry and music. I wrote my first song in my dorm room sophomore year during a bit of a rough patch in soccer. From that point on, the songs just kept pouring out. Some were (and still are) more like diary entries than songs worthy of the stage. I still hold out hope that I'll write a decent enough song to be sung in public. I also hate my voice on recordings... however I've only ever been vocally recorded on a friend's system in an old garage in college, so I guess I can't say for certain. :)
So here I am, listening to some Hillsong Music, realizing I pick out the harmonies more than the lead voice, and feeling out all the instruments in the background beats out any focus on the actual lyrics. I rarely choose songs I like based on lyrics.
I can't even explain what happens when music hits me. Its like suddenly I want to cry, laugh, sing, jump, dance, play air guitar, and sometimes just lie on the ground in silence. Usually I end up adding some harmony and settling for singing along.
Anyway, enough of my rambling...
Music drives me. I posted this in Facebook and didn't realize how much it moves and influences me, until I took a step back (just now) and looked at my life.
I was raised in a large church. I remember standing on the pews singing at the top of my lungs, "Great is the Lord, He is faithful and true..." Maranatha music and church musicals were my favorite part of church (beside the awesome yoyo guy). We moved when I was only ten, so I missed out on continuing the art of "church musicals."
At ten years old, I also chose to continue soccer and quit ballet (and sometimes wish I could go back and try again just to see what would have happened). I loved dancing, with a PASSION. However, it is pretty funny to look back on what I remember to be very skillful dancing, only to find the recital tape has been recorded over with silly little girls in black leotards, ungracefully flopping and twirling around on stage.
I remember the music vividly though, and how I felt it deep inside me.
I picked up violin at the age of eleven, I think mostly because I didn't have the lung capacity at the time to play a wind instrument. But I like to think what they said was true, that the more intelligent people play in the orchestra. :) I played orchestra until I was 16, then continued to master the art of "playing without having to be instructed, and playing what I wanted when I wanted." By the time I hit college, I somehow managed to develop a skill of playing background violin for worship. I didn't even feel like I was playing music... my violin was a means to express how I felt.
In 8th Grade Choir, the one year I ever sang in an organized group on a regular basis, I was picked on for reasons I can't even remember. I remember the thrill of the stage, performing with a group, and fun costumes, but also remember just not cutting it. I didn't continue with choir. Instead, I chose to master my vocal talent in the shower, the car, my bedroom...
I also used music as my source of focus before soccer games and track meets. I'd flip through inspirational notecards for about 15 minutes before the meet or game started, and get lost in the music... usually a little DC Talk or Jars of Clay. I didn't even care what people around me thought... I was just in my element.
I learned guitar my junior year of high school. A friend of my brother taught me how to play "Free Fallin'" and the rest is history. Plus, it was a piece of cake to learn guitar. Guitars have these things called "frets" that help you play the right notes regardless of where your finger hits! Violins really should have those. :) The rest of my skill is somewhat self-taught, with some help of cute, guitar-playing guys in college.
I skipped teen angst... or I at least think I did. It hit more in college, and fortunately I managed to express it through poetry and music. I wrote my first song in my dorm room sophomore year during a bit of a rough patch in soccer. From that point on, the songs just kept pouring out. Some were (and still are) more like diary entries than songs worthy of the stage. I still hold out hope that I'll write a decent enough song to be sung in public. I also hate my voice on recordings... however I've only ever been vocally recorded on a friend's system in an old garage in college, so I guess I can't say for certain. :)
So here I am, listening to some Hillsong Music, realizing I pick out the harmonies more than the lead voice, and feeling out all the instruments in the background beats out any focus on the actual lyrics. I rarely choose songs I like based on lyrics.
I can't even explain what happens when music hits me. Its like suddenly I want to cry, laugh, sing, jump, dance, play air guitar, and sometimes just lie on the ground in silence. Usually I end up adding some harmony and settling for singing along.
Anyway, enough of my rambling...
Monday, April 11, 2011
Random Catchy Title.
Facebook used to ask "What's on Your Mind?" It made life a bit difficult for me. I can have a dozen completely unrelated thoughts going through my head at once. Thoughts in Aaron's wise, humble brain might go something like this, "Gas grill... awesome." Mine is more like this, "I need more coffee, what's on Facebook? Where's my planner, and what am I doing today? I like cheese. I like chocolate. I could like cheese and chocolate together if I tried it. Coffee... mmm."
So. if you ask me what's on my mind seriously, with a few bullet points to help, here's what's up in my head.
- "Break my heart for what breaks yours." which is currently my favorite line in a song for many reasons. I want to care about what God cares about. I want to love those whom God loves. I want to hurt for people God cries for. But I also want to be broken for things other people care about. Shame on me if I ever get wrapped up in the few things I'm involved in without seeing the big picture! I need to be praying for the ministries and passions my friends and family are involved in! My friend Ali is helping the mission of World Vision AND eventually, foster parenting. My friend Stacy is heading overseas with her family for missions and to serve people. I want these people, and others who are doing God's work, to be in my prayers constantly.
- "Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:4-6. I plan to do this every day of my life, and to teach my kids why this is so important. God brings life when I feel I have none. He moves me and directs me when I don't know where to go. Goodness, who knows where I'd be if I didn't love God with all of me.
- Spring is a confused season. It looks nice outside. I put a tshirt and jeans on. I take out the garbage. By the time I get back to the house, I'm ready to curl up in a blanket with some hocho (Hot Chocolate for those of you who are Kelly Illiterate). Kelly prefers Autumn. Its blustery and windy, and mostly cloudy, therefore I wear boots, a nice sweater and coat, and jeans, and most likely a handmade crocheted hat. Pretty self-explanatory if you ask me.
- Yesterday, my Dad referred to my deep thoughts as Haiku. I don't really know what he was thinking. But it was funny. He also thinks "Blanche" is a very funny word. You should hear him say it sometime.
- I need to do a massive overhaul of my kids' toys, and I need to buy some storage shelving and bins for our apartment. Its embarrassing to have people over, when the kids retort "Ian's closet is a MESS!" That's so not who I am, and I wish I had time to follow through with my instincts to sort/organize/chuck. It would feel SoOOoo much better in the end!
- Thankful. Probably how I'd define myself lately. Just amazingly thankful for God's work around me, and how He moves me and directs me. I feel led in such a clear path, and I don't feel I deserve it sometimes. I am so unworthy and imperfect, and I am thankful that God chooses to bless me despite my imperfection. I can't explain this very well, because you'd think from what I said that I had a perfect life or something. That is absolutely not the case. But I feel blessed and comforted by simply knowing God is present in my life.
Eh, that's Kelly's brain today. :)
So. if you ask me what's on my mind seriously, with a few bullet points to help, here's what's up in my head.
- "Break my heart for what breaks yours." which is currently my favorite line in a song for many reasons. I want to care about what God cares about. I want to love those whom God loves. I want to hurt for people God cries for. But I also want to be broken for things other people care about. Shame on me if I ever get wrapped up in the few things I'm involved in without seeing the big picture! I need to be praying for the ministries and passions my friends and family are involved in! My friend Ali is helping the mission of World Vision AND eventually, foster parenting. My friend Stacy is heading overseas with her family for missions and to serve people. I want these people, and others who are doing God's work, to be in my prayers constantly.
- "Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:4-6. I plan to do this every day of my life, and to teach my kids why this is so important. God brings life when I feel I have none. He moves me and directs me when I don't know where to go. Goodness, who knows where I'd be if I didn't love God with all of me.
- Spring is a confused season. It looks nice outside. I put a tshirt and jeans on. I take out the garbage. By the time I get back to the house, I'm ready to curl up in a blanket with some hocho (Hot Chocolate for those of you who are Kelly Illiterate). Kelly prefers Autumn. Its blustery and windy, and mostly cloudy, therefore I wear boots, a nice sweater and coat, and jeans, and most likely a handmade crocheted hat. Pretty self-explanatory if you ask me.
- Yesterday, my Dad referred to my deep thoughts as Haiku. I don't really know what he was thinking. But it was funny. He also thinks "Blanche" is a very funny word. You should hear him say it sometime.
- I need to do a massive overhaul of my kids' toys, and I need to buy some storage shelving and bins for our apartment. Its embarrassing to have people over, when the kids retort "Ian's closet is a MESS!" That's so not who I am, and I wish I had time to follow through with my instincts to sort/organize/chuck. It would feel SoOOoo much better in the end!
- Thankful. Probably how I'd define myself lately. Just amazingly thankful for God's work around me, and how He moves me and directs me. I feel led in such a clear path, and I don't feel I deserve it sometimes. I am so unworthy and imperfect, and I am thankful that God chooses to bless me despite my imperfection. I can't explain this very well, because you'd think from what I said that I had a perfect life or something. That is absolutely not the case. But I feel blessed and comforted by simply knowing God is present in my life.
Eh, that's Kelly's brain today. :)
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Something so Simple.
Sometimes I forget how easy it is to make my kids happy, and how simply I can show my love for them. After basically a month of trying to fit in everything possible, we just needed an evening with our family in Bellingham. Yes, we did have to tie in some errands, but we made those quick so we could spend the biggest chunk of our evening just playing and eating.
So, after stopping briefly at Lowe's, we decided to venture to a place Aaron and I had never been before... Old Country Buffet (and yes Katie, I DID eat the non-organic, yummy food!). I called back to Ian that we were going to "the buffet" and explained to him that he could pick out anything he wanted. We almost opted to go somewhere else, since I wasn't sure how much I'd eat and the prices are a bit high for us, but we sacrificed the budget for a little fun.
The kids couldn't keep still. At which point we realized Ian had needed a potty break for quite a while. But even after that, he seriously couldn't keep still. He was simply ecstatic and giddy to dine at a place such as this. (my words, not his).
We let the kids pick the table, then we all went up and showed the kids EVERYTHING. Goodness how their eyes lit up. I guess I remember life like that... I loved potlucks and anywhere I got to choose the food. So we grabbed plates, and loaded them up with whatever the kids wanted. Ian had pizza, applesauce, rice, and chips. Ana had popcorn shrimp (I lied and told her it was chicken), peas and corn, carrots, cantaloupe, and honeydew. I guess I must have steered her eating choices a bit.... haha! Both kids thoroughly enjoyed and gulped their chocolate milk.
As we ate, the stress appeared and just kept increasing. The kids were wired, Aaron and I couldn't hear each other over the kids, and I just wanted time with my husband. I'm also huge on discipline at the table (and life in general), so it was driving me off the wall. After a few frustrating minutes of this, I realized the mistake I made. We were there for the KIDS. We weren't on a date, we weren't fine dining, and we weren't with anyone who expected us to be perfect. Almost immediately, I gave in and enjoyed their company. I giggled with them, talked to them about their dessert, made up games to get them to eat their food, and *poof* I turned into a completely different parent. (which also helped Aaron enjoy the rest of his meal)
To jump to the end, the rest of the trip turned out perfect. We even sprinted through the Target parking lot with careless abandon on the way to our car. Our kids are seriously fast. The kids were non-compliant here and there, but overall, I felt like we were "that family who actually spends time and enjoys each other." It felt good, and there should be more of that. I think all moms to some extent get caught up in the "getting things done, making things happen" mentality of life, and we don't allow ourselves to simply enjoy. Or maybe its just me... but I feel somehow I'm not alone in this. :)
Here are the results of quality family time...
So, after stopping briefly at Lowe's, we decided to venture to a place Aaron and I had never been before... Old Country Buffet (and yes Katie, I DID eat the non-organic, yummy food!). I called back to Ian that we were going to "the buffet" and explained to him that he could pick out anything he wanted. We almost opted to go somewhere else, since I wasn't sure how much I'd eat and the prices are a bit high for us, but we sacrificed the budget for a little fun.
The kids couldn't keep still. At which point we realized Ian had needed a potty break for quite a while. But even after that, he seriously couldn't keep still. He was simply ecstatic and giddy to dine at a place such as this. (my words, not his).
We let the kids pick the table, then we all went up and showed the kids EVERYTHING. Goodness how their eyes lit up. I guess I remember life like that... I loved potlucks and anywhere I got to choose the food. So we grabbed plates, and loaded them up with whatever the kids wanted. Ian had pizza, applesauce, rice, and chips. Ana had popcorn shrimp (I lied and told her it was chicken), peas and corn, carrots, cantaloupe, and honeydew. I guess I must have steered her eating choices a bit.... haha! Both kids thoroughly enjoyed and gulped their chocolate milk.
As we ate, the stress appeared and just kept increasing. The kids were wired, Aaron and I couldn't hear each other over the kids, and I just wanted time with my husband. I'm also huge on discipline at the table (and life in general), so it was driving me off the wall. After a few frustrating minutes of this, I realized the mistake I made. We were there for the KIDS. We weren't on a date, we weren't fine dining, and we weren't with anyone who expected us to be perfect. Almost immediately, I gave in and enjoyed their company. I giggled with them, talked to them about their dessert, made up games to get them to eat their food, and *poof* I turned into a completely different parent. (which also helped Aaron enjoy the rest of his meal)
To jump to the end, the rest of the trip turned out perfect. We even sprinted through the Target parking lot with careless abandon on the way to our car. Our kids are seriously fast. The kids were non-compliant here and there, but overall, I felt like we were "that family who actually spends time and enjoys each other." It felt good, and there should be more of that. I think all moms to some extent get caught up in the "getting things done, making things happen" mentality of life, and we don't allow ourselves to simply enjoy. Or maybe its just me... but I feel somehow I'm not alone in this. :)
Here are the results of quality family time...
Thursday, March 24, 2011
So Much More
I awoke at 4:45, then again at 5:15, to my kids yelling for a drink. They are back in bed, and I am left with my coffee, Bible, laptop, guitar by my side, and my racing brain.
I planned to open my Bible to the passage we are studying in the kids program at church this week, but as my Bible flipped open it instead displayed a note card I scribbled on about two years ago. This happens a lot actually, and I really should write down when it happens.
Simply-put and God-breathed, it said 2 Corinthians 4:17-18: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
Take a step back. Well actually, let's gaze down on my life for a second. Married, two kids, business owner, blah blah blah. Yet, while my life has been moderately normal (if that even means anything), I have had my share of setbacks, failures, heartbreaks, and losses. Some of those setbacks broke me for the future. I've noticed the collapse of past friendships have given me this almost-intense fear of new friendships, that they'll simply move on as if I never existed. Sometimes it even affects my marriage; but I thank God for my husband's amazing communication and listening skills, and his ability to work through it with me.
The failures have also smacked me in the face a bit. Backing out of college soccer, never getting a REAL acting part in college (chorus member, LOL), yelling at my kids... you get the picture. We all have areas of our life or decisions we see as failures.
But its almost like when we fail, when sadness wells up inside us, when we fear the unknown, our gaze turns to the ground. Our life on earth becomes everything; it consumes us.
Yet, as heavy as our burdens become, how heavy is the glory of God that rests on the other side of the scale?
With all my worries, I fix my own eyes on what I can't yet see. Its really THAT simple.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
30 Days of Blogging... Day Thirteen
Your five favorite books and why.
Easy...
1. The Horse and His Boy.
I like every part of this book. But what I love most is the symbolism between Aslan and God: ""I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the tombs. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at night, to receive you."
2. The Book of James (in the Bible). Specifically Chapter 2: Act on what you say, and take care of others, and love your neighbor as yourself (in a nutshell)
3. Fahrenheit 451.
Loved the outlook on the future. Challenged me to think about what I stand for.
4. The Giving Tree.
Makes me cry every time.
5. The Hiding Place.
After learning about my own Grandma's story of growing up in Austria and fleeing to "America," I guess I related with this book a bit more than others even though I am not directly connected with the people.
Easy...
1. The Horse and His Boy.
I like every part of this book. But what I love most is the symbolism between Aslan and God: ""I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the tombs. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at night, to receive you."2. The Book of James (in the Bible). Specifically Chapter 2: Act on what you say, and take care of others, and love your neighbor as yourself (in a nutshell)
3. Fahrenheit 451.
Loved the outlook on the future. Challenged me to think about what I stand for.4. The Giving Tree.
Makes me cry every time.5. The Hiding Place.
After learning about my own Grandma's story of growing up in Austria and fleeing to "America," I guess I related with this book a bit more than others even though I am not directly connected with the people.Thursday, February 10, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
30 Days of Blogging... Day Eleven
Write a bucket list of things you want to do before you die.
1. Write at least ONE song that makes its way onto a famous singer's CD.
2. Do a backflip.
3. Win a Karaoke contest.
4. Surf.
5. Play in a string quartet.
6. Buy good hiking shoes.
I'm sure there's lots more but let's be real here. :)
1. Write at least ONE song that makes its way onto a famous singer's CD.
2. Do a backflip.
3. Win a Karaoke contest.
4. Surf.
5. Play in a string quartet.
6. Buy good hiking shoes.
I'm sure there's lots more but let's be real here. :)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
30 Days of Blogging... Day Ten.
Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad.
HAPPY:
Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson
You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban
American Honey - Lady Antebellum
Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Israel Kamawakawakamolewokapooey
SAD:
Umm... I write when I'm sad. Hence the whole "songwriter" side of me none of you ever see.
BORED: (and in front of mirror)
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
The Lonely Goatherd - Sound of Music
I Keep on Falling - Alicia Keys
At Last - Ella Fitzgerald
Stay - Sugarland
Fat Guy in a Little Coat - everyone who's anyone knows where that's from
HYPED:
Who Let the Dogs Out?! - Thank you Gonzaga soccer days
Its My Life - Bon Jovi
Bring Me to Life - Evanescence
B.Y.O.B. - System of a Down
MAD:
No music, I just clean and take deep breaths. :)
THEATRE-ISH:
What is Love? - SNL
Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
Istanbul - The Four Lads
Aaaand anything disco.
HAPPY:
Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson
You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban
American Honey - Lady Antebellum
Somewhere Over the Rainbow - Israel Kamawakawakamolewokapooey
SAD:
Umm... I write when I'm sad. Hence the whole "songwriter" side of me none of you ever see.
BORED: (and in front of mirror)
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
The Lonely Goatherd - Sound of Music
I Keep on Falling - Alicia Keys
At Last - Ella Fitzgerald
Stay - Sugarland
Fat Guy in a Little Coat - everyone who's anyone knows where that's from
HYPED:
Who Let the Dogs Out?! - Thank you Gonzaga soccer days
Its My Life - Bon Jovi
Bring Me to Life - Evanescence
B.Y.O.B. - System of a Down
MAD:
No music, I just clean and take deep breaths. :)
THEATRE-ISH:
What is Love? - SNL
Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
Istanbul - The Four Lads
Aaaand anything disco.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Bread.
Its really amazing to me that I can spend every day with my husband Aaron, then when he happens to take off for a weekend retreat, I fall apart. Well, not really. But goodness life doesn't change much and I just don't feel like myself!
So I do things that are SOOoooo not like me. I baked three loaves of bread, from scratch, without a mixer. Which means my forearms are going to be freaking huge due to my genetic inheritance of easily developed muscle.
Abnormal activity #2: fed kids pizza for dinner and almost forgot to feed my kids vegetables. And when we ran out of pizza, my thought was to either a) make more pizza dough (from scratch), or b) give them cookies. Strange. Ultimately, the carrots emerged, and the kids devoured them with the promise of cookies.
Hmm... what to bake next.
So I do things that are SOOoooo not like me. I baked three loaves of bread, from scratch, without a mixer. Which means my forearms are going to be freaking huge due to my genetic inheritance of easily developed muscle.
Abnormal activity #2: fed kids pizza for dinner and almost forgot to feed my kids vegetables. And when we ran out of pizza, my thought was to either a) make more pizza dough (from scratch), or b) give them cookies. Strange. Ultimately, the carrots emerged, and the kids devoured them with the promise of cookies.
Hmm... what to bake next.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
30 Days of Blogging... Day Seven
A picture of someone/something that has had the biggest influence on you.
We own a thriving cafe in a small town. I can't say that has always been an accurate statement, as we have spent the past five and a half years kicking and struggling to stay above water. Despite knowledge that success may take a while, we all jumped into this business without knowing how hard it would really hit us. Once it hit, we were knee deep in way too many issues to manage. What's more, we fought hard to stay close in our marriage and with our kids, which I seriously never thought would be affected.
We own a thriving cafe in a small town. I can't say that has always been an accurate statement, as we have spent the past five and a half years kicking and struggling to stay above water. Despite knowledge that success may take a while, we all jumped into this business without knowing how hard it would really hit us. Once it hit, we were knee deep in way too many issues to manage. What's more, we fought hard to stay close in our marriage and with our kids, which I seriously never thought would be affected.But five years later, and only God knows how this happened, our business is finally thriving, and we are finally getting "there." Everything that once plagued us and bound us down is now fading, and we are working on how to make it all work together.
I have always had a heart for suffering people, but never thought I'd be there.
Now, looking back on the past five years, here are some thoughts on how I've changed:
- I don't need a large house. Yes, honestly.
- I know how to budget, and how to penny pinch.
- I am more aware of others in my life when they need help.
- I respect my husband for how much he works, knowing its because he loves us.
- When I tithe in church, its from my heart.
- I can cook and bake now (yep, couldn't before).
So... that's about it. :)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
30 Days of Blogging... Day Six
Your favorite superhero and why.
My favorite superhero is Christian Bale.Because he played Batman, and he's dreamy.
(aka, not much of a superhero person!)
Monday, January 31, 2011
30 Days of Blogging... Day Five
A picture of somewhere you've been.
I've always gazed at mountains, dreaming of someday enjoying the view from the summit. Last summer I finally made the first step toward my dream! Aaron and I took off for an overnight stay on Mt. Baker. We didn't summit... I wanted to be easy on myself and take baby steps in my dream of scaling mountains. So we hiked the ridge the whole way up to climber's camp! As you can see in the picture, it looks like you're RIGHT THERE, when in fact you're approximately a seven hour hike away from the peak. I probably could have done it, but like I said... baby steps.
It was a PERFECTLY clear day, and we hung out most of the first day in our shorts and t-shirts! At the top of a mountain! Ahh... just writing about this makes me want to go back.
**My favorite part of the hike was when a group of hikers passed us withOUT their packs on, and someone remarked to me, "Wow, you're brave... I ditched my pack a long time ago!" Yes, those things are heavy... but with my thunder thighs anything's possible. :)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
30 Days of Blogging... Day Four
A habit you wish you didn't have...
Hmm... well, I have to say its probably also a habit OTHERS wish I didn't have as well sometimes.
Mine has to be that I joke too much, turning everything into something I think is apparently funny. I think it makes people think I'm not a deep person, or someone worth having genuine conversation with; or even worse, that I'm not a good friend they want to keep around and develop a meaningful friendship with.
Granted, this is all hypothetical, and perhaps no one ever thinks that of me. But part of this blogging experience is to share the real me, and this is part of it. :)
Hmm... well, I have to say its probably also a habit OTHERS wish I didn't have as well sometimes.
Mine has to be that I joke too much, turning everything into something I think is apparently funny. I think it makes people think I'm not a deep person, or someone worth having genuine conversation with; or even worse, that I'm not a good friend they want to keep around and develop a meaningful friendship with.
Granted, this is all hypothetical, and perhaps no one ever thinks that of me. But part of this blogging experience is to share the real me, and this is part of it. :)
Saturday, January 29, 2011
30 Days of Blogging... Day Three
Picture of you when you were a child.
Great Grandma Eula, baby Kelly, my mom Cindy, and Grandma Alice.I'm guessing Grandma was saying something like "Ah Bill, just take the picture!!"
Thursday, January 27, 2011
30 Days of Blogging... Day Two
Meaning behind your blog name.
Can't say I made it up. People have called me "kel" for a little over 29 years now. Kelly was someone's last name somewhere back in my family, but aside from that, my parents just liked it.
I was supposed to be either Kelly Megan or Megan Kelly. The funny thing about that fact is that when people can't remember my name, they call me Megan.
My subtitle, if it was listed, would be "Coffee, Crochet and Christ." Pretty self-explanatory subtitle.
Can't say I made it up. People have called me "kel" for a little over 29 years now. Kelly was someone's last name somewhere back in my family, but aside from that, my parents just liked it.
I was supposed to be either Kelly Megan or Megan Kelly. The funny thing about that fact is that when people can't remember my name, they call me Megan.
My subtitle, if it was listed, would be "Coffee, Crochet and Christ." Pretty self-explanatory subtitle.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
30 Days of Blogging... Day one
Copied from Bridget Beth's brilliant blog. Day One: recent picture of you, and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
1. I hate myself on camera, which is why I can never be serious in a picture (except the one above, taken for the church staff page).
2. I hate folding laundry.
3. My favorite color is dark red, but it only looks good on me when I'm tan, which is rare.
4. I hate going on walks, but I'll challenge you to a race any time of day, anywhere.
5. The Sound of Music is one of my all-time favorite movies. I wanted to be Liesl.
6. I still dream about playing professional soccer, but figure I blew my chances quitting half-way through college.
7. I can write backwards fluently, both printing and cursive.
8. I correct people's grammar under my breath.
9. I'll sing or dance or act on stage, but HATE public speaking.
10. I stop EXTRA long at stop signs when people tail me.
11. I need glasses. I currently have the wrong prescription because I memorized the eye chart last time I got my vision checked.
12. I have a terrible short-term memory, but can remember most major childhood experiences vividly.
13. I would prefer to have my hair in a ponytail at all times.
14. I am 5' 3.75" tall, but my college soccer roster said I was 5' 5".
15. I love seeing my babies turn into big kids, and thoroughly enjoy their facial expressions and body language as they imitate us adults.
k
1. I hate myself on camera, which is why I can never be serious in a picture (except the one above, taken for the church staff page).
2. I hate folding laundry.
3. My favorite color is dark red, but it only looks good on me when I'm tan, which is rare.
4. I hate going on walks, but I'll challenge you to a race any time of day, anywhere.
5. The Sound of Music is one of my all-time favorite movies. I wanted to be Liesl.
6. I still dream about playing professional soccer, but figure I blew my chances quitting half-way through college.
7. I can write backwards fluently, both printing and cursive.
8. I correct people's grammar under my breath.
9. I'll sing or dance or act on stage, but HATE public speaking.
10. I stop EXTRA long at stop signs when people tail me.
11. I need glasses. I currently have the wrong prescription because I memorized the eye chart last time I got my vision checked.
12. I have a terrible short-term memory, but can remember most major childhood experiences vividly.
13. I would prefer to have my hair in a ponytail at all times.
14. I am 5' 3.75" tall, but my college soccer roster said I was 5' 5".
15. I love seeing my babies turn into big kids, and thoroughly enjoy their facial expressions and body language as they imitate us adults.
k
Friday, January 21, 2011
Smarts.
This picture was taken back in September, on Ian's first day of preschool. What began as excitement for a new school turned into social anxiety and a stressed out mommy. You can see in the picture, he wouldn't even join the circle... too many eyes on him.
Expectations of Ian, both socially and from his teachers, caused him to withdraw into his shell rather than engage in class. His teachers were obviously frustrated, and at one point, we had considered pulling him out and giving him another year to mature.
Three weeks went by, and the constant battle of finding SOMEthing to make him look forward to preschool was exhausting for all involved. After all, how do you motivate an introvert to WANT to go to school alone?!
But fast forward to today, and you find a very different Ian. While still his introverted self, Ian can practically read, write, and recognize numbers! While he struggles more than other kids in the social department, he EXCELS in learning!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Organic.
Just curious which picture looks more natural.
Two nights ago, Aaron and I watched Food, Inc.
Now, to preface what I'm about to say, I have to tell you for probably the duration of our marital existence, we've done an "ok" job of eating healthy. We eat our fruits and vegetables, exercise (in moderation), eat organic when we can afford it, and usually pick non-fat or low-fat varieties of pretty much anything. Of course, there is the occasional trip to McDonald's with the kids, or any number of restaurants in Bellingham when we shop for the cafe...
But I realized, after watching the movie, I was kidding myself. We had made ourselves think we ate healthy, when really many choices we were making with our food might eventually have negative repercussions.
Back to the movie, "Food, Inc."
When I think of where animals are raised to be slaughtered, I generally hear a happy melody in my head, and cows, chickens, and pigs roam free. Sometimes I would guess they break out into song, but I just don't know.
Yet, here come the feed lots. Cows forced to stand side by side, munching on corn of all things, no grass in sight, and if they misbehave, workers get them to move by pushing them with forklifts or other inhumane equipment. (Don't get me started on the mistreatment of workers).
Then there are the chickens who live in windowless henhouses and yes, eat corn. Instead of maturing in 78 or so days, chickens are bred and modified to mature in 46 days. Huh? Modified chickens? They also gain so much weight that their tiny chicken legs can't support their double-D breasts. The poor things take roughly three steps, then collapse from exhaustion. I'm sure God is shaking his head, saying "Nope, didn't create that."
There's also a whole other issue with genetically modified corn, soybeans, and who knows what else!!!
To clarify, I am absolutely NOT an animal activist.
Yes, I do love animals. I think they make great pets, are beautiful in the wild, are helpful in many situations, and some are a little scary. Like chihuahuas.
And yes, I care that these chickens' homes don't have windows, and that the cows don't get treated well.
But what I care most about is... what the heck are they eating? CORN! CORN, corn corn! Which I must admit is delicious. But the meat you find at a local grocery store eats GENETICALLY MODIFIED corn. Mmm... sounds delicious.
So, moving on.
I'm not about to jump on the organic, natural, grass-fed, non-genetically-modified diet just yet. I have two kids to raise on a limited budget, and we have JUST started to tithe, finally, after years of not contributing to our own church. We don't have an extra $50-$100 a month to shell out to pay for the increase in cost due to choosing organic food.
And you can't deny those coupon savings are AMAZING, despite most of it containing high fructose corn syrup or some other genetically modified ingredient.
So, here are the first steps our family is taking to live a healthier life:
1. More vegetarian dinners. Rice, black beans and broccoli filled us up quite well last night.
2. For lactose intolerant Kelly, Organic Rice Milk is the new liquid of choice. And its soy-free.
3. Organic cereal, but only when its on sale. Otherwise we'll stick with cheerios or oatmeal for health benefits. You also can't beat peanutbutter or banana pancakes! I'm also a fan of bran muffins, but I'm still looking for the right recipe.
4. Organic yogurt and milk when possible. We are going to try to do our local dairy in Lynden as much as possible. However, we'll have to watch cost.
5. Local beef, pork, and chicken. Grass-fed, happy cows and pigs that eat what they're supposed to eat!
6. FARM SHARE. Some of our friends are going to split a farm share with us from June to October. Aaron and I might try to do this other times of the year as well! Farm shares are a more cost effective way of eating organic produce, plus you get to support local farmers and businesses. We're all about supporting local!
So there you have it, my bandwagon.
To also clarify, I am not making this choice for appearance, to appear perfect or that I am making better choices than anyone. I've simply been convicted (or as I've been saying, "ruined) to eat healthier and local for the sake of my own family. There are so many things in my life that need improving... I might as well improve the quality of the food that sustains me. :)
kel
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Craziness...
I was going to have a peaceful morning drinking coffee and working, but now my mind is just going crazy from things happening to people around me and I can't focus! I am supposed to take a shower and prep a few small items for Sunday School tomorrow... but even that small task is impossible when I am flustered.
A friend of mine just blogged about a bit of an ordeal her family is going through unfairly. Her husband has to deal with it out-of-state, which leaves her pregnant and dealing with her 6, 5, and 1.5 year old on her own. I can't imagine her stress and exhaustion. Five more people I'm praying about... check.
My co-director for the children's program had to take off this weekend to be with her family. Her brother-in-law died a couple days ago. The stinker is that her husband is in Texas, so she has to travel alone to the memorial. I have to (and want to) fill in for her Saturday night, but this means I have a busier weekend, and have to do service tonight on my own. We need to get her a permanent assistant so she never has to teach alone, and when I have to fill in, I don't have to be alone! Yet again... two more people and a whole family to pray for.
Aaand I woke up with congestion all over the place. Wait that sounds bad. Its just in my throat and nose.
So its funny... whenever things in life happen, they happen all at once. At this point, I am fully expecting our cafe kitchen to catch on fire, one of my kids to fall down the stairs, or for one of my kids to take scissors to my hair. Or maybe a tidal wave. Eh, there could be worse.
In all this, I know God is in control. In good and bad, He is there. If you have ever read "The Horse and His Boy" you know what I'm talking about.
So, pray for me as I dive into leading a church service all on my own...! Yikes!
A friend of mine just blogged about a bit of an ordeal her family is going through unfairly. Her husband has to deal with it out-of-state, which leaves her pregnant and dealing with her 6, 5, and 1.5 year old on her own. I can't imagine her stress and exhaustion. Five more people I'm praying about... check.
My co-director for the children's program had to take off this weekend to be with her family. Her brother-in-law died a couple days ago. The stinker is that her husband is in Texas, so she has to travel alone to the memorial. I have to (and want to) fill in for her Saturday night, but this means I have a busier weekend, and have to do service tonight on my own. We need to get her a permanent assistant so she never has to teach alone, and when I have to fill in, I don't have to be alone! Yet again... two more people and a whole family to pray for.
Aaand I woke up with congestion all over the place. Wait that sounds bad. Its just in my throat and nose.
So its funny... whenever things in life happen, they happen all at once. At this point, I am fully expecting our cafe kitchen to catch on fire, one of my kids to fall down the stairs, or for one of my kids to take scissors to my hair. Or maybe a tidal wave. Eh, there could be worse.
In all this, I know God is in control. In good and bad, He is there. If you have ever read "The Horse and His Boy" you know what I'm talking about.
So, pray for me as I dive into leading a church service all on my own...! Yikes!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Things I Plan to Do this Year.
1. Go snowboarding.
2. Tame my sugar addiction.
3. Read through the Twilight series again.
4. Start writing a children's book.
5. Write enough good songs to record a CD.
6. Start selling crocheted stuff.
7. Paint and decorate this place I call home.
8. Get all our family photos printed & in photo albums.
9. Potty train Ana.
10. Work out at least once a week.
11. Practice my violin more.
Why 11 things, you ask?? Because of this:
"Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?"
I really need to watch that movie.
2. Tame my sugar addiction.
3. Read through the Twilight series again.
4. Start writing a children's book.
5. Write enough good songs to record a CD.
6. Start selling crocheted stuff.
7. Paint and decorate this place I call home.
8. Get all our family photos printed & in photo albums.
9. Potty train Ana.
10. Work out at least once a week.
11. Practice my violin more.
Why 11 things, you ask?? Because of this:
"Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?"
I really need to watch that movie.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Hmm, now that's a thought!
I just realized I have been worked up over nothing. I can't tell you how many posts I've spent hours on, then DELETED out of fear I'll lose a friend (or acquaintance), or bore someone, or just make someone mad.
If you read my blog, you probably care what I have to say. So, no more editing my views... well maybe some of them need a little stained glass action.
My thought today was on first fruits. This week's lesson in our kids ministry is on sharing with each other, but with a small focus on giving our first and best to God. I learn so much, and I am reading children's curriculum!
Honestly, I don't have much at the moment. Small apartment, limited budget, no yard or swingset for my kids, I RARELY buy clothes for myself. When I do, its either from a consignment store, or I just give up and buy groceries instead.
But when I focus on Christ, and especially on the first fruits concept, I just want to give all of myself to His plan. I'm not suffering, I'm definitely not hungry, and I'm dying slower than most of the world. I have money sitting in my account right now that can be used, tithed, given.
Go ahead and google "First Fruits" and take a look at the images. Ripe tomatoes, peaches, kiwi, mangoes... amidst a sea of unripe fruit. I love the analogy, and I am called more than ever to give my first and my best.
Its not about getting excited about a concept, or dwelling on it. Most people just feel warm and fuzzy when they feel in the "giving mood." We are called to step out in faith, and that calls for action.
If you read my blog, you probably care what I have to say. So, no more editing my views... well maybe some of them need a little stained glass action.
My thought today was on first fruits. This week's lesson in our kids ministry is on sharing with each other, but with a small focus on giving our first and best to God. I learn so much, and I am reading children's curriculum!
Honestly, I don't have much at the moment. Small apartment, limited budget, no yard or swingset for my kids, I RARELY buy clothes for myself. When I do, its either from a consignment store, or I just give up and buy groceries instead.
But when I focus on Christ, and especially on the first fruits concept, I just want to give all of myself to His plan. I'm not suffering, I'm definitely not hungry, and I'm dying slower than most of the world. I have money sitting in my account right now that can be used, tithed, given.
Go ahead and google "First Fruits" and take a look at the images. Ripe tomatoes, peaches, kiwi, mangoes... amidst a sea of unripe fruit. I love the analogy, and I am called more than ever to give my first and my best.
Its not about getting excited about a concept, or dwelling on it. Most people just feel warm and fuzzy when they feel in the "giving mood." We are called to step out in faith, and that calls for action.
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