With myself, that is. I have always expected a lot out of myself. Although I never aimed for a 4.0, I always had the expectation that I would learn a lot and be a better person with the knowledge taught me. I had to be the best in soccer. It doesn't mean I WAS, but I was always trying to... and still wishing I was there. I always dreamed of being the perfect parent, only to find out its ten times harder than it looks. For someone who needs control over her life, this is hard. Understatement of the week. I also have been constantly feeling tired and nauseated (NOT PREGNANT), which I think is the effect my stress is having on my body. At any given moment in the day, I could literally lie down and fall asleep. Thank God for coffee.
The slight realization that I am the only one expecting myself to be perfect is almost reassuring.
But what I really need is to stop being expected to be everything for everyone in every direction. It has to stop somewhere.
The pastor from a church in Bellingham spoke at our Young Life Leader Training meeting Sunday night. He spoke about how most of us walk around with our "Cup" FULL, and we just try to make it through life trying not to spill its contents. The point was to empty it just enough, so that the things you DO have in your cup, you can commit to fully. We should commit to just the right amount of activities in our life to be GREAT at all of them.
I just don't know what can go. Or for that matter, who I am going to upset when I leave it. The only permanent things are my marriage, my kids, my family, and my faith.
Advice welcome.
The Three Stooges
Ian, Martin and Grandma heading to the beach!
Grandma and Grandpa Leffel!
I may not be a model, but thank you Tyra for teaching me how to pose.
And my personal favorite... a sweet moment between Daddy and Ana Clare.
