Song Choices...

I've talked a whole lot about the influence of music on my life, so as I sit here listening to Lady Gaga sing "Bad Romance," I thought it would be fitting that I write about some of my favorite songs and why. Yes, that sounds incredibly boring. However, I think you'll find my song choices oddly fascinating.

First, let's take it back to 1996. There I was, 15 years old, taking drivers ed, eating cafeteria lunches having crushes on boys who don't know I'm even alive. Cue "Flood" by Jars of Clay as it pours over the speakers in the school cafeteria. No one else in the cafeteria knows it, but I know this is a Christian song. I love that its playing at school and no one knows what its really about. I can still smell the Taco Salad (I LOVED Wednesdays), I can still feel the swish of my extremely cool soccer warmups, and just waiting for *insert name here* to walk by. Its funny, of all the places I hung out in high school, this old cafeteria that has since been renovated, is my most vivid, lasting memory of high school.

1998. A close friend of mine through church mainly listened to Boston, Steve Miller Band... pretty much anything in that genre was in his collection. I'd say that friend was the only reason I ever had an "oldies phase." I moved on to bands like Fleetwood Mac, Madonna, and finally... CHICAGO. Yep you guessed it, I was suddenly hooked on "You're the Inspiration" about a decade too late. I was frequently caught busting out the mad lip-syncing skills whenever it came on the radio (back when you had to WAIT for the right song to play and couldn't listen to it on Spotify like I am now). It was also the cause of most of my infatuations turning into crushes. Pretty much if you were a boy, and were moderately cute, I had a crush on you. Just sayin. I blame this song for making me entirely too silly for my own good.

Only a few months into college in 2000, my love affair with country music began. Ever since then its been at the forefront of my music choices (in addition to Evanescence and System of a Down, but we'll get to that later). Nickel Creek was the band that made me DREAM of playing violin on a broader level someday, and I discovered I had an okay voice. "When You Come Back Down" was one song that spoke to me and pulled me in. I remember lying on my bed with my eyes closed listening to the mix of all the instruments, dreaming of being in that world... getting to perform and play music with people who loved it as much as I did. Still not there... but maybe someday.

Ahh, Amy from Evanescence. That girl has some pipes. She can sing the way I FEEL. The year 2003... I had too many road trips between Spokane and Seattle NOT to pump up the music and shout at the top of my lungs with no regard to how crazy I looked. When I met Aaron, I had been listening to Evanescence constantly through my car stereo. Then cue "Toxicity" by System of a Down, and you have me pretty much pegged for that time period. Sweet and senstive, with a crazy but moderately clean style in music. :) Don't even get me started on their song "BYOB"... if you are anywhere above the age of 50, I don't suggest even trying to listen to this, but I think its AWESOME. I freaked out when I first heard it on the radio.

And finally, here we are in the year 2011. Do me a favor, and watch this music video. Even just the first 20 seconds, when you see this innocently handsome man appear on screen with the deepest voice I have ever heard.
Why Don't We Just Dance . And try to tell me you didn't swoon for a moment. :)

That's all I have. I'd post things about what I've been up to, but most likely you've all read my Facebook status updates for the past many years, and know everything about me. :)

Memories Discovered.

We recently pulled our somewhat old desktop computer out of the basement. I knew what I would find on that hard drive would be full of memories, but I had literally no idea how much I had stored on there that I forgot about. ALL the songs I wrote in college, all my favorite emails, journal entries, all my term papers and assignments, and the majority of my young little family's pictures just SITTING there, not being viewed. Not only am I not skilled in the art of scrapbooking, I also apparently lack the skill to burn all my best pics onto a CD and take them in to Costco. We all know that's not true, but sometimes it feels like it, the way I procrastinate on this issue.

Above all these memories, I found my most cherished file folder: "Verse of the Day" entries.

I spent the second half of my Freshman year at Gonzaga waking up to my Bible, laptop, and flood of thoughts. I somehow managed to develop a list of close to 100 followers who apparently thought I had something to share. I sent out a single email every morning, including a few thoughts and a verse to go with it. I felt privileged that God used me the way He did, and I remember a constant flow of wisdom and ENERGY from God I just didn't understand.

And now I look back, and wish I was there (to some extent). I remember the peace of waking up and letting God speak through me in that very specific way, and wish I could do that again. I think I express myself and God speaks through me, in a very different way now.

Sadly, one of the email accounts I used in college went inactive and deleted itself, along with the majority of my entries. But I am thankful for the ones left. Its not like "The Word" died with my email account or anything, but my memories sure did. My friend Erika had actually suggested I turn them into a book. That became my plan eventually, but once my account disappeared, so did that desire.

So... here I am being used for God's will in ways I never expected, wondering if I'll ever really go back to that. We change throughout life, in our personality, giftings, and talents. We're not always meant to do what we once did. But I hope and pray my writing and my music never leave me. Then again... it could be God's way of showing me he's in control. :)

Me.

Hey Everyone...just a brief blog post to let you know I'm alive

I haven't necessarily been too busy to blog lately. Honestly, anyone can pop onto a computer and throw a great blog post together in a couple minutes. Its more like my head has been FULL OF STUFF, and the last thing I want to do is spew it on the random bloggerby (that's like passerby, but online. I made it up).

I typed and backspaced multiple times before realizing all that was coming out was a diary entry. See ya next time I have something worth publicly expressing! Haha!

Snapshots in Music

I am driven by music. I said this in an earlier post, but sometimes I forget how true this statement really is. I have a song memory for every stage in life. Every boyfriend (unfortunately), my close friends, places I have visited, and sometimes even food or a restaurant has a song that goes along with it. My memory is exponentially enhanced by the music that runs through me.

As I sat down tonight to blog, naturally I opened up Pandora. The first song that started playing was "How Great is Your Love" by MercyMe. Interesting, how the flood of emotions, memories, images, even smells come back listening to this particular song. And almost instantly, my mind (and a piece of my heart) went back to a single moment in 2001, and "Ocean" by Ten Shekel Shirt started pouring through my head.

I spent the summer after my freshman year in college up at Lakeside Bible Camp on Whidbey Island. I was on staff as the Program Assistant, running games, doing random jobs for various people, and running around in the chicken suit occasionally. I also managed to get spanked with an omelet-covered spatula because I was teasing the cook. I was pretty much the camp gopher for an entire summer. While this completely messed with my need for a consistent workout routine in between college soccer seasons, it was quite possibly one of the most memorable summers in my small existence.

One day the staff headed out to play on the local playground, one of those castle structures FULL of tag and sardines potential. If anyone tries to tell you 20-year-olds are too old for playing a little sardines on the playground in mid-daylight, I am now proving you wrong. I remember about a handful of us fit into the large tire, and I think I remember someone hurting their ankle at some point, but I can't remember who it was.

As we drove out of the parking lot, Nicole was driving, I was shotgun, and Erin, Sarah, and either Joel or Cory were in the backseat. The song "Ocean" came on and I think I remember we all went quiet and listened to the lyrics. Someone remarked afterward that it was her new favorite song. Funny, I bet that person has moved onto to different songs and different music. But my snapshot will always hold still that song, and that moment.

I will never forget that summer, those images... from random nights out driving around the island, to late-night canoe rides and deep-sinking with grapes and root-beer, to having Narnia right in our very own closet, MercyMe and Ten Shekel Shirt. I also need to track down our silly staff video with me getting hit by a large rubber ball... actually two.

Click. :)

Food.

I guess we could really call this post "For The Record." I don't really have anything to prove; I guess I just like to give people glimpses into my real life, and not my online life. I don't think I act differently... I just think a lot gets lots in translation.

Last night, I threw together a batch of homemade flatbread. Whilst (sounds regal) I cooked the flatbread, I browned a little Garlic in Olive Oil, then threw in Salt and Organic Roma Tomatoes, and simmered it for about a half hour as it magically transformed into the most magnificent pizza sauce EVER. Meanwhile, I baked up some simple cheese pizzas on flatbread for my kids with some Organic sauce from the store. THEN, I sauteed a little Kale from my sister-in-law's garden, added Basalmic Vinegar, and proceeded to create heaven-in-a-pizza. Flatbread, Homemade Roma Tomato Sauce, Fresh Chopped Persian Cucumbers, Mozzarella Cheese, topped with sauteed Kale. By the way, did I mention the only actual recipe I used was for the flatbread, and I even partially created THAT recipe?! Didn't take pictures... I pretty much devoured the pizzas in two seconds.

All that to say, I want to share why I feel I can brag about this: I am absolutely and positively NOT a cook! And no way would I ever call myself a baker! Its why I married Aaron!

My Mother (who shall hopefully feel complimented and flattered by my saying this) tried her darndest to get me to sew, garden, cook, and bake as a kid. I believe I enjoyed it... at least until the oh-so-natural rebellious phase kicked in, and suddenly I wanted nothing to do with any of that. I think that's the only rebellion I ever went through. Sad really, I could have been so much more experienced by now at all that stuff. Thanks Mom, for instilling the values and skills at an early age!

I hate recipes. I'm great at starting them, but all I have to do is act a little airheaded and my husband swoops right in and finishes off the meal. I have started to tell him not to... I need to learn how to cook and finish off a recipe at some point in my life!

Then there's the whole fresh, organic, gardening... the thought of any of that used to completely overwhelm me. Plus calorie counting, the food pyramid, and limiting sweets... so sad.

I think through high school and college, it didn't really matter to me. Anything I ate I burned off in no time flat due to my constant athletic involvement, so I didn't have to think about it. I didn't even pay attention to my diet in college... and it probably could have helped my college soccer career last a little longer if I had been happier with my weight. Those school cafeterias and their unlimited selection... SO FUN. :) I probably consumed my lifetime intake of butter and salt in that place.

Fast forward 7 years, and here I am thinking way too often about what goes into my food, how its treated and grown, and how it will affect my body. Thanks to a little life experience, a few good friends and family members with good tips and resources, and LOTS of will power, I feel I am starting to feel physically better than I have ever felt. Cutting out modified sugars, pesticides, high-fructose corn syrup, and for now, MILK (I know, so sad)... feels so good.

And it feels good that I am figuring out how to cook what I LIKE to cook, and what my family enjoys. I felt too limited going through recipe books constantly, trying to make meals with a thousand ingredients, and getting completely overwhelmed. The best, most tasty food comes WHOLE! And somehow I create things I like better WITHOUT a cookbook. Guess I'm just wired a little differently.

Yes, I DO still consume many ingredients and foods that aren't so natural... its how we save money! I am simply trying to limit the amount of unnatural foods in my diet in the places it matters most! I do have lots to learn... LOTS.

So there's my food life in a nutshell. :P

Seven Years!

feels like FOREVER

Yes that was a complete joke. It actually feels more like I've known my husband my entire life, or at least should have. But this marriage has felt like a day. I fell into LIFE with an amazing man who is humble and humbles me, loves me and our kids, keeps my mood swings in check, and makes me crack up even in the worst of moments. I am so thankful I fell in love with someone who complements me and completes me in so many ways! Happy Anniversary to my hubs, you rock my world. And yes I do like rock music... and country, and grunge, and easy listening, and classical, and oldies. I didn't lie to you about the rock. :P

God's Voice.

Most of the time, I hear God's voice in quiet whispers. I think that's a pretty good description of how I have felt in life. In most situations where I need guidance or a clear answer, I feel a gentle nudging, a quiet voice... and I know God is there guiding me.

To preface the rest of this blog, I posted on Facebook this morning that I thought something good was going to happen today.

Today was not that kind of day. At least, it didn't feel like it. My hair was uncooperative, kids woke up earlier than expected, I was forced to take an Allegra as my allergy symptoms progressed through the morning, the kids fought and bickered right up through lunchtime, and I failed miserably at any attempt at calm and collected parental discipline. On top of other stressors in my life, these silly, trivial issues completely crumbled me. By the time I made it to the office to get some work done, I was emotionally spent. I shouldn't have been drained, especially as you read back through this paragraph and consider what I "endured" today (LOL)... life simply happens, and typically I deal with it alright. But today, I just didn't. Thank God for great friends who can listen and empathize. Thank you Jasmine for being there for me. :)

The four of us managed to have a nice evening... ate some leftovers, watched a movie while we cut Aaron and Ian's hair, and gave the kids baths. As we settled down after the kids bath, I sent Aaron to pick up our dry laundry (we do laundry at my in-law's house).

As Aaron came back upstairs, he explained what he saw on his walk. Looking West, the sun set bright and clear as it peered over gorgeous grey and white clouds. Looking East over our cafe building, a full double rainbow.

I threw a coat on Ana and ran downstairs, grabbing my camera.

As I turned the corner and the full panorama of this amazing rainbow came into view, I held back tears as I realized God was speaking to me. Sure, the rainbow formed due to some scientific effect of the rain and sunlight, blah blah blah.

Unfortunately for science, I don't believe in coincidences when it comes to God's timing.

Everything could go wrong in my day, I can be exhausted and depressed, stressed over work and cleaning with kids screaming and fighting around me... but no matter what, God is good. And He shows it to us over. and over. and over.