Real.

You know, the hardest part about blogging is this choice we have to be real with our audience, or to re-create ourselves to appeal to people who are more likely to make comments. This is purely based on my own feelings about blogging, and how I feel when I sit down to write.

I will readily open my journal or songbook at home and jot down lyrics or my latest thoughts and prayers. I get lost in my words. I get lost in my prayers. I sink into a whole other world, and really, nothing can bring me out of it except me. I can write a last-minute Philosophy 101 term paper 8 hours before its due, with the help of a Hard Lemonade and Pride & Prejudice softly playing in the background. Now, I simply take advantage of a lyric or phrase that pops into my head, write it down quickly, and come back to it once the kids are asleep or at least eating.

But... I have this love/hate relationship with my blog. I sit down, and nothing emerges from my tired fingers. I want to be real. I want to open up to the people who care enough to click on my link. But it seems so distant! I feel like I'm just recording a witty outgoing answering machine message in hopes that SOMEONE will call!

I also feel like people in the blog world don't really want to know what's REALLY going on. Or, they just want pictures. Or they, too are annoyed with how fake blogging can sometimes become.

So if you care enough to read this far, here's a little bit about me as of August 31, 2009:
- I am married to a wonderful man and have two kids who I personally think are absolutely adorable.
- I am old enough to not fit in with teens, but young enough that I really don't know how to dance to Michael Jackson's "Thriller."
- I have a firm faith and strong beliefs, and I am full of love and hope for people.
- I love to dance. Although most people don't know it since I spent most of my life playing soccer.
- I wish I could do high school over again and invest more in my friendships.
- I have strong passions for ice cream and chocolate.
- I don't think its necessary to have a serious conversation when you just feel like laughing.
- I have been married 5 years. I have since then owned and sold a house, lived in two apartments, bought a café, had two kids by C-Section, coached and played multiple seasons of soccer, and drank more coffee than anyone I know... except my husband.
- We have had our financial ups and downs, specifically more downs than ups. We are currently in a down...
- I realized this week how much I don't pray, how much I need to pray, and how much it helps to pray. It brings peace to my soul.
- I love the smell of rain just as much as the smell of freshly baked bread.

And that's me.

Grandma and Ana Clare.

80.

Happy Birthday Grandpa Bill! (August 19th) Doesn't he look young?!

Little Boy.

in your blue faded chair, next to the lion coffee chest, light kisses your knee

So Here's the Thing.

I am guessing this winter, I will have more time to blog. Note that I skipped the whole fall season. That will be filled with Young Life contact work, coaching soccer when I can, working at my awesome job, raising my kids, and making an attempt to have dates with my husband.

If you fall into the "I depend on Kelly's blog to receive updates on her life" category, no fear, I will be back with updates soon, so you don't have to wait till November. (And you can always check Facebook.)

I am jealous of people who get time to put pretty things and words on their blogs right now. It seems like such a nice idea to get time to myself!

Lately, I have found myself getting pushed as a parent, a person, a believer... it makes me busy but so fulfilled.

Check back in a week for a real update. :)

Sneak Peek

On our way to Spokane...

Blank Walls.

I want this.

Five Years of Happy Chaos!

Aaron and I were just talking this morning about how quickly these past five years of marriage have FLOWN by. It actually feels like maybe a couple months or days have passed

I remember thinking five years sounded so long. Especially after a handful of ridiculously short relationships. I knew I wanted to marry and be married to Aaron forever, but WOW was that thought overwhelming!

Now that we've hit five years and its felt SO easy, I am so excited for what's to come.

"What have Aaron and Kelly done in five years?" you curiously ask.

Well, I shall tell you:

- We bought a house two months after we got married (Oct '04)
- Then, happily worked and saved money, and spent money, for the next year ('05 ish)
- Bought an already running, popular café, and quit a few jobs (Sep '05)
- Coached a few soccer teams (Sep '05 and beyond)
- Decided we weren't busy enough, and got prego (not the sauce) (Oct '05)
- Aaron enjoyed taking his pregnant wife to Vegas (May '06)
- Had a whopper. Only by whopper, I mean baby boy (Aug '06)
- Sold house moved into teeny apartment above café (Oct '06)
- Worked, lots. During naptime, during Grandma time...
- Smelled soup through floor (all the time)
- Got pregnant, then miscarried in week 4 (Sep '07)
- Ignored doctor, got pregnant again. (Oct '07)
- Got asked constantly if I was having twins (constantly)
- Aaron got to enjoy not being pregnant, but gave me lots of backrubs (constantly)
- Committed to being Young Life leaders (Summer '08)
- Had teeny baby (Aug '08)
- Coached more
- Aaron committed to being the Blaine Young Life team leader!
- ...and Voila, we're here in Aug '09, with an almost-1 and almost-3 year old!

"Whoa." You say.

"Yes, I know."

But you know, I wouldn't change a single thing. I don't believe in sitting around and waiting for things to happen, as lovely and peaceful as that sounds. I can rest when I'm 70. Unless I'm playing pro soccer.