Real.

You know, the hardest part about blogging is this choice we have to be real with our audience, or to re-create ourselves to appeal to people who are more likely to make comments. This is purely based on my own feelings about blogging, and how I feel when I sit down to write.

I will readily open my journal or songbook at home and jot down lyrics or my latest thoughts and prayers. I get lost in my words. I get lost in my prayers. I sink into a whole other world, and really, nothing can bring me out of it except me. I can write a last-minute Philosophy 101 term paper 8 hours before its due, with the help of a Hard Lemonade and Pride & Prejudice softly playing in the background. Now, I simply take advantage of a lyric or phrase that pops into my head, write it down quickly, and come back to it once the kids are asleep or at least eating.

But... I have this love/hate relationship with my blog. I sit down, and nothing emerges from my tired fingers. I want to be real. I want to open up to the people who care enough to click on my link. But it seems so distant! I feel like I'm just recording a witty outgoing answering machine message in hopes that SOMEONE will call!

I also feel like people in the blog world don't really want to know what's REALLY going on. Or, they just want pictures. Or they, too are annoyed with how fake blogging can sometimes become.

So if you care enough to read this far, here's a little bit about me as of August 31, 2009:
- I am married to a wonderful man and have two kids who I personally think are absolutely adorable.
- I am old enough to not fit in with teens, but young enough that I really don't know how to dance to Michael Jackson's "Thriller."
- I have a firm faith and strong beliefs, and I am full of love and hope for people.
- I love to dance. Although most people don't know it since I spent most of my life playing soccer.
- I wish I could do high school over again and invest more in my friendships.
- I have strong passions for ice cream and chocolate.
- I don't think its necessary to have a serious conversation when you just feel like laughing.
- I have been married 5 years. I have since then owned and sold a house, lived in two apartments, bought a café, had two kids by C-Section, coached and played multiple seasons of soccer, and drank more coffee than anyone I know... except my husband.
- We have had our financial ups and downs, specifically more downs than ups. We are currently in a down...
- I realized this week how much I don't pray, how much I need to pray, and how much it helps to pray. It brings peace to my soul.
- I love the smell of rain just as much as the smell of freshly baked bread.

And that's me.