Awake.

I awaken slowly to the sound of rustling blankets. Tiny feet gently unfold the blanket once swaddled snugly around my new daughter Ana. Aaron breathes next to me, on the verge of awakening. I jump out of bed, preserving Aaron's precious sleep, as he wakes up in only a few hours to fill downtown Blaine with the aroma of cinnamon and rising dough.

I fill my water glass, put on a comfortable shirt, and sit down to feed her. Most moms have already woken up at least once tonight, but my baby has spoiled me. Her first stretch of sleep lasts 6 hours, then I wake her in the morning for breakfast (sorry Ana, just milk). I flip on Northwest Cable News, and watch the same stories unfold every 15 minutes for the next hour. After that, another half hour of wakefulness and my poor sleepy eyes unable to stay open. This half hour ends with me pulling Ana into bed, and unfortunately waking Aaron up with a few piercing baby shrieks directly into his sleeping eardrum (his other eardrum should be thankful).

Tick-tick... tick-tick. My phone gently rings with an Enya song and some ticking. If it was just Enya, I wouldn't even wake up. I'd just dream I was on stage with Enya, and then running across the ocean being chased by Tony the Tiger (if only I could ask my two-year-old SELF why I have always dreamt about tigers...) I'd go back to sleep, but my milk-producers and the Nile have become one, and its almost painful, mostly just uncomfortable.

My day begins with feeding Ana, watching the morning news, and a Nutri-Grain bar or a bowl of cereal, in case I need to take Ibuprofen. This is by far, my favorite hour of the day. No agenda, no phone calls, I can just enjoy the moment, and not think about yesterday, later or tomorrow. Its at this moment lately, that I decide if I have made any plans, that they are absolutely NOT mandatory.

And that's what I live for. Trying to find moments where I no longer need to plan or organize; I just want to enjoy this minute, this hour.

Vocabulary 101

So, I was thinking about the rain, and my sleepy self, and thought, "You know, today I am a bit melancholy." Then I thought about the word, "Melancholy." Basically, its made up of two separate words:

Melon: Fruit that has a thick, hard, inedible rind, sweet meat, and lots of seeds.

Collie: A silky-coated sheepdog with a long ruff and long narrow head developed in Scotland.

So, today I am a silky-coated fruit from Scotland with a thick head. I just don't get the English language.

Thoughts in the EARLY morning.

Not to be missed: the post before this one about Aaron being a FANTASTIC Dad. :)

Back to the present...

Here I am at 4:04 in the morning, and I can't go back to bed. No literally, I just don't really want to because I know I'll just lie there trying to sleep. I'll wait till I feel like passing out, then I'll try to make it the 30 feet back to my bed without collapsing before I get there.

I fed Ana about an hour ago, and now I am left here with many things racing through my mind. Some wonderful, some doubtful, some exciting, and some stressful. That's what happens to post-partum hormonal women three weeks out of pregnancy and in the wee morning hours when one should be in BED.

But its during these times lately I have come to realize the power of prayer, and the power of truly looking to Christ for answers. If left to myself, I would turn to my self-analytical and critical inner ways and things like doubt and fear could really enter my mind. Its EASY to head that direction, am I right?

Choosing to pray makes so much more sense. And I wish there was some way to really explain that to people who DON'T know God. When you are walking strong and holding firm in your faith in God and you turn to Him for answers, you find them. "Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find, knock, and the door will be opened," rings a bell from somewhere in the Bible.

This doesn't mean I'll get immediate results or answers, but I will be at peace and God will reveal His purpose to me through my prayer.

So in the meantime, it doesn't look like I'll be getting a full 8-10 hours anytime soon (more like 4-5 at a time, and I am SPOILED). So I'll continue to look to God when I feel exhausted and worn, and just accept that at least I am walking in the right path.

How's that for a deep blog? I thought you'd all appreciate something a little more bloggy, and a little less "I'm in love with my kids and can't stop blogging about them." :)

(I just posted this and looked back to read it, and realized just how SHORT it is. That took a LONG time to write such a SHORT blog! Which means I'm TIRED!! YAY!! Goodnight everyone. And don't forget to eat ice cream. Good for calcium.)

Daddy.

Thanks Daddy. :)

Ana Clare

Ana Clare Tuski (AW-nuh) was born August 5th, at 9:57am! She was 6# 15 oz., and 18.5 inches long... such a little peanut!

Here is a picture of my belly merely TWO HOURS before my surgery! I'm huge! :)

I swear... I took a shower, had makeup on, and somehow it all came off. I think my medication had makeup remover in it.

Ian saying "cheese" for the camera. I hope he didn't think he was getting cheese.
All I have is milk.

Ian and baby sister Ana. Its as close as he would get to her for the first few days!

Ian telling Ana a joke. He apparently takes after his mom, because no one else is laughing.

More pics coming soon! We'll get some of Daddy and Ana, and many more!

Happy Birthday Ian!

Ian turns the big TWO on Friday! And since his little sister Brunhilda (just kidding) will be born on Tuesday (not kidding), I thought I would blog to celebrate him on my blog BEFORE all the craziness! :)

Here he is at two months old. Silly, mischievous grin already in the works. We lived in our house on Blaine Avenue at that time, but were in the process of moving to the apartment above the cafe! I think he actually had THREE chins at this point in time.One Year Old. Excited about EVERYTHING! The "Beckham" works well on this guy. He dug into his cake like a one year old digs into birthday cake. I loved this stage... he still did whatever I wanted him to! :)Almost two years old! Favorite words are "people," "bus," and "bapa." Loves transportation, loud noises, and stroller rides. And juice. Loves having FOUR grandparents nearby! (And so do Mommy and Daddy). Thinks everyone at our cafe is his friend, and that all kitchen utensils are toys.