Awake.

I awaken slowly to the sound of rustling blankets. Tiny feet gently unfold the blanket once swaddled snugly around my new daughter Ana. Aaron breathes next to me, on the verge of awakening. I jump out of bed, preserving Aaron's precious sleep, as he wakes up in only a few hours to fill downtown Blaine with the aroma of cinnamon and rising dough.

I fill my water glass, put on a comfortable shirt, and sit down to feed her. Most moms have already woken up at least once tonight, but my baby has spoiled me. Her first stretch of sleep lasts 6 hours, then I wake her in the morning for breakfast (sorry Ana, just milk). I flip on Northwest Cable News, and watch the same stories unfold every 15 minutes for the next hour. After that, another half hour of wakefulness and my poor sleepy eyes unable to stay open. This half hour ends with me pulling Ana into bed, and unfortunately waking Aaron up with a few piercing baby shrieks directly into his sleeping eardrum (his other eardrum should be thankful).

Tick-tick... tick-tick. My phone gently rings with an Enya song and some ticking. If it was just Enya, I wouldn't even wake up. I'd just dream I was on stage with Enya, and then running across the ocean being chased by Tony the Tiger (if only I could ask my two-year-old SELF why I have always dreamt about tigers...) I'd go back to sleep, but my milk-producers and the Nile have become one, and its almost painful, mostly just uncomfortable.

My day begins with feeding Ana, watching the morning news, and a Nutri-Grain bar or a bowl of cereal, in case I need to take Ibuprofen. This is by far, my favorite hour of the day. No agenda, no phone calls, I can just enjoy the moment, and not think about yesterday, later or tomorrow. Its at this moment lately, that I decide if I have made any plans, that they are absolutely NOT mandatory.

And that's what I live for. Trying to find moments where I no longer need to plan or organize; I just want to enjoy this minute, this hour.