Christmas Bliss.

... and the winning pic.

Merry Christmas, and a Happy Boxing Day! I am thankful for my family, heated homes to stay in during this chill, and FINNISH COFFEE BRAID, my favorite bread EVER!

Teaching Nativity to a Three-Year-Old

Reading through a Nativity Sticker book...

Me: "Once there was a woman named Mary." Then pointing to Mary, "So Ian, who is that?"

Ian: "Joseph."

Later in the day...

Me: "Hey Ian, what did the angel tell Mary to name the baby?"

Ian: "Baby Jesus."

Me: "Ah yes, his name was Baby Jesus Christ."

Me: "Who was Mary's Husband?"

Ian: "Daddy."

Well, we're close enough.

Love.

Waves crash down as
sorrow ebbs and flows
what little do we know
Then and tomorrow
Shade sorrow and so
this journey goes
Peace to those who
follow the tide
Whose lucid dreams
Never subside
Marching into hills and
mountains, holding on
through wind and rain,
tides flood our hearts
and pain
but only love fills
valleys, no more sorrow,
yes, there will be
tomorrow.

I have to clarify, I didn't know Luke personally. But I knew him through close friends, through seeing him at Lakeside Bible Camp, and I feel I know him more as his own friends and his own family surround and lift up one another through their grief. This poem is dedicated to those who knew Luke, because you are all an encouragement to me as I have watched you support one another. Even if no one reads this, I had to write it. The poem came to me, and when thoughts come, I have to write it down. :)

I Should Be SLEEPING.

You could say I was in bed in a timely manner tonight. It was 10pm, I thought I was tired after reading a few Psalms and praying. Then I lay in bed while minutes seemed like hours.

I've had a few kids. Since then, my stomach muscles have given way to my apparently superhumanly strong intestines (ok not really, that just sounded cool), and I can feel them move when I lie down. It keeps me up sometimes as I fall asleep, wondering if something is seriously wrong with me. Fortunately, enough post-partum moms online have posted the same thing about their blobs formerly known as ironing board abs.

Then, my thoughts took a rather different turn. Some may call it ADHD, but I call it multi-tasking.

Ian and I were beginning to pray before bed tonight, and I asked him who we wanted to pray for. He responded "Doey Daddy." I was stumped for a few seconds before I realized who he was talking about. "Oh, Joey's Daddy?" After basically getting a "Well, DUH" from my three year old, we continued. He also wanted to pray for his Daddy, and his Mommy (aka, Aaron and I), and Talia, his favorite person EVER who happens to be his cousin, and no he CANNOT marry her; this isn't the Godfather.

So anyway, we prayed for all those people, then prayed for the usual safety, health, sleep, and good dreams.

At 10pm, as I lay in bed trying to sleep, I couldn't stop thinking about his prayer requests. I believe God speaks through people, and I believe in miracles, I believe in many things most people don't think is possible.

I got out of bed, turned the computer on, and checked email and Facebook to be sure everything was okay and mostly right with the world. One thing couldn't be rewinded though, and that was the death of Luke Gullberg, my good friend Melissa's brother in law.

I was so excited to see she was online, and even more, willing to talk to me. Tough things in life are so difficult to talk about, and deal with. That family is filled with, and surrounded by LOVE.

So after a night of thoughts on prayer, sleeplessness, and my need to check every possible internet sale website for a great deal, my night ended with a great talk with a great friend.

I do end my night, however, with this thought... did I pray hard enough and faithfully enough for the two climbers still missing on Mt. Hood? What if I had known Luke was missing before he died, could I have prayed so fervently, God would have saved him? What if we prayed with real, genuine FAITH?! What would God do in this world if we actually believed what we prayed, and didn't JUST ask?

One thing I do know, is pray without ceasing. We may have little faith sometimes, but God's always listening.

Luke.

Please keep Luke Gullberg's family in your prayers tonight, as well as the two hikers still missing on Mount Hood. So sad, and Luke will be missed by so many people.

Three High's and a Low

I am guessing people who read this actually care about me as a person, and know me decently well. If you are one of those people, please continue. If you are just passing by my blog, this doesn't apply to you!

High's!

1. I finally feel like I have energy again. I can credit my faith life, and/or credit my Post-Partum lack of energy going away... whatever the case my be, I feel good! (After an unfortunate three years of just feeling TIRED.)

2. Relationship with toddler has improved SOooo much. Thank you to Grandmas who persistently help me realize what I need to be doing as a Mommy.

3. I bought Fat-Free French Vanilla Creamer yesterday, and I am currently drinking coffee with creamer out of my "Caffeine isn't a drug it's a VITAMIN" mug! Life doesn't get much better than this!

LOW

If anyone wants to buy our cafe, or buy our cafe AND building, please contact us. We are not officially for sale, but seriously considering it. We need to be able to support our family, and have a consistent income at this phase of life. The cafe is doing quite well, and actually pays for itself. I think a young, energetic individual or couple with NO kids would do very well, or someone who already has kids in school or older, so they have time and energy to work the cafe.

In the meantime, you can pray for us. We either need a buyer who can run this thing, Orrr.. we need a financial miracle. :)

Early Morning

I woke up this morning to a not-happy Ian at 5am, and managed to get him to fall back asleep on our bed. I have been up since then, surrounded in my thoughts. I read a little Psalms, a little bit of Luke, thought about Young Life, thought about my kids, drank some water, checked Facebook, and I even read an Old Navy ad and realized they are probably using mannequins instead of real people just to save money like the rest of us.

My pending New Year resolutions (which are only pending because its still December) are:

1. To prioritize my kids in my life.
2. To prioritize time with Aaron, and time spent affirming him.
3. To simplify life, and focus on what matters.
4. To start a workout routine. I don't know how, I don't know when, but by golly I WILL.

Grayland.

Had an AWESOME time this weekend with my parents, and Jer & Deen and their awesome kids! We welcomed sick Martin and LOVED having him there, and I personally enjoyed every minute of the experience. I'm glad I got sick Monday because if I didn't, that means the J&D Leffels would not have been there. :)

We got an extra night and day before everyone else showed up just to be "the four of us" from Thursday to Friday, then everyone showed up Friday evening for amazing pretzel-bun and fantastic-sauce burgers made by Aaron.

Anyway, here are a few pictures for your viewing enjoyment!

The Three Stooges

Ian, Martin and Grandma heading to the beach!

Grandma and Grandpa Leffel!

I may not be a model, but thank you Tyra for teaching me how to pose.

And my personal favorite... a sweet moment between Daddy and Ana Clare.

Smiles.

The result of happy, SANE parents.

Tug of War.

With myself, that is. I have always expected a lot out of myself. Although I never aimed for a 4.0, I always had the expectation that I would learn a lot and be a better person with the knowledge taught me. I had to be the best in soccer. It doesn't mean I WAS, but I was always trying to... and still wishing I was there. I always dreamed of being the perfect parent, only to find out its ten times harder than it looks. For someone who needs control over her life, this is hard. Understatement of the week. I also have been constantly feeling tired and nauseated (NOT PREGNANT), which I think is the effect my stress is having on my body. At any given moment in the day, I could literally lie down and fall asleep. Thank God for coffee.

The slight realization that I am the only one expecting myself to be perfect is almost reassuring.

But what I really need is to stop being expected to be everything for everyone in every direction. It has to stop somewhere.

The pastor from a church in Bellingham spoke at our Young Life Leader Training meeting Sunday night. He spoke about how most of us walk around with our "Cup" FULL, and we just try to make it through life trying not to spill its contents. The point was to empty it just enough, so that the things you DO have in your cup, you can commit to fully. We should commit to just the right amount of activities in our life to be GREAT at all of them.

I just don't know what can go. Or for that matter, who I am going to upset when I leave it. The only permanent things are my marriage, my kids, my family, and my faith.

Advice welcome.

My Kids are Nutty.

Just a couple weeks ago, Ian was hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa Tuski. Now, he's been watching this show called Dinosaur Train on PBS. He's also been playing with his AWESOME set of dinosaurs from his cousins.

I am not sure exactly how it started, but apparently he turned to Grandma or Grandpa, said "Dinosaur Parade!" and started prancing around like a maniac with his arms waving high above his head, and mouth wide open. By the time we got home, Ian was doing the Dinosaur Parade all around the living room, on demand.

---

Then there's Ana. I was giving her a bath last night. She LOVES baths. We were playing with a couple of Ian's toys when she decided to drop the toys, and start putting her face in the water. Every time she put her face under water, she'd quickly look back up at me and start CRACKING up. A few times, she even inhaled water and threw up while cracking up. I couldn't help but laugh, so she and I were just laughing at each other for at least five minutes.

---

So, my kids are nutty. It must be the odd combo of Aaron, who is cool, collected and amazingly witty, and me. Well, I'm just a dork. And I think I'm funny.

Yeah, its a short post, but an effective glimpse into our crazy life with two silly kids.

Bears.

Until soccer season ends, I may not blog much, so just bear with me here just a bit longer. Only, I don't know whether its a brown bear or a black bear. Its some kind of bear.

5.

Aaron and I have been married 5 years, and in that amount of time, we have moved four times... which means we've lived in five different places. Most of the time, when you hear about people who can't stay in one place, it means either a) they're not satisfied, or b) they keep getting kicked out.

We're neither.

((1))

Our first home was a cute little fixer-upper rental house by the school. They waived our first two months of rent so we could fix it up, then rented it for dirt cheap. It was a pretty nice deal.

((2))

Three months after we moved in, some family friends were selling their house for a GREAT price, and since we had the means, we jumped on the opportunity. Sure, half the yard was cement. Sure, the garage in the back that had been converted into the studio FLOODED every time it rained. It was OUR house. We owned a CRAZY beagle named Buckley, and after we couldn't handle him and handed him over to someone else, we got two kittens, Maximus IV and Athena. I think I may continue naming my pets after Greek gods and ancient Romans. Its fun.
A year after we bought that house, we bought a well-established café in town. A month after that, I somehow ended up pregnant. Oh and did I mention we had already started full bore into a master bathroom renovation. Or creation for that matter... it wasn't even a bathroom yet!

Five months later, we realized our café expenses definitely didn't match up with our mortgage payments, plus my ability to work full-time was decreasing as my belly grew. Aaron's parents offered to have us stay at their place. And honestly, I wish at that time we had taken them up on the offer. I just wasn't ready, despite how well I got along with my parents-in-law. We moved into the apartment above the café when our chunky baby Ian was 2 months old.

((3))

Life above the apartment was great, aside from the constant smell of cooking broccoli, 1.5 flights of stairs (with a C-Section, 15 lb. baby in arm, and laundry in the other arm), and hearing customers and employees conversations at 6am. OH and did I mention we had no laundry or dishwasher? And did I mention people would tell me "Mmm, you smell like cinnamon rolls." No, people, I smelled like cinnamon rolls, broccoli, onions, and coffee. Which is great if you've been working there, but not if you've just been home all day!

((4))

Two years later, we moved into a cute apartment "across town." I was pregnant with our second child, and the thought of having a newborn and toddler with none of my favorite modern day conveniences seemed DAUNTING. Our new home had a dishwasher, laundry, a yard, and a small balcony. Compared to what I had above the café, this was a DREAM! We happily lived there for the past year.

And now, here I am, packing up our lives for the fourth time in five years. I am very good at packing. And throwing things away.

((5))

We are moving in with Aaron's parents. Its a moderately small house, but apparently big enough to house two grandparents, their son and his wife, and two young children.

I will not divulge our financial details, but it IS the reason we're moving. We are not lazy people. As of right now, Aaron is working 6 hours in the morning, then coming home to relieve me so I can work my 3 hour job. Then at 3pm he drops off the kids with a grandmom, and we both head to our respective locations to coach soccer. We are getting paid for all those things, and the grandparents are not. We committed to so many things so we can support our family. And we're SO thankful to have two sets of grandparents in town, and how willing they are to help us in our time of need.

I am learning faith, and trust, and joy. Faith, because who gets anywhere with out believing things are possible through God?! Trust, because with every decision we make, we need to know God will help us. And joy, because God IS our satisfaction. Not money, not fancy cars or houses. Those things only cause temporary happiness, soon to be replaced by the need for more. When you crave more of God, you receive permanent fulfillment and satisfaction.

So that's me. Five homes in five years. Two kids, a café, one dying car, two soccer teams, one young life team, and a partridge in a pear tree (which I'm going to have to find, since Aaron's parents have a pear tree in their backyard).

You can simply pray that God provides for us EXACTLY what we need. I don't desire to be rich. Just provided for.

Thanks for reading...

Thank You.

As I prep for fall, Thanksgiving is always on my mind. Rather than wait for the holiday, I thought I'd write this now, as its currently on my mind.

* Thank you to my junior soccer buddies, when I was a freshman in high school, for taking me under your wing and making me feel special. I still remember sitting with you in the cafeteria before school, as you copied each other's homework, and I felt so cool to just be sitting with you. I was the dorky, but skilled little freshman, and you were the popular girls.
* Thank you to the moms and older women out there who do not frown at me in contempt as I chase my crazy toddler through the store while clutching to my purse and my baby girl.
* Thank you to my kindergarten teacher, for sending me to the 1st grade class to do advanced reading. While it didn't last long, at least I have a story to tell.
* Thank you to my very first select soccer coach, for picking a player for your team who only knew two things: how to run faster than people, and how to dribble well. You believed in what was possible, and helped create so much more.
* Thank you Aaron, for marrying me despite my absolute silliness. As embarrassing as I am sometimes, you know you love it.
* Thank you chocolate, for always loving me back. Our love is for real.
* Thank you Ian and Ana, for loving your mommy even when she gets fed up and needs a time out.
* Thank you, Clorox sanitizing wipes.
* Thank you family, for supporting us through these past 4 years. Your prayers, babysitting, etc. have meant so much to me. You have no idea how much I plan to repay you (in cookies, obviously).
* Thank you, Reality TV, for giving me hope that someday I will be on TV. Still debating whether I'll apply for Survivor, or just show up for American Idol with a terrible outfit and some random song I plan to sing completely out of tune.
* Thank you Jer, for attempting for many years to give me fashion advice. I was listening.
* Thank you, American drivers. Thank you.

Looking forward to...

Ahhhh Autumn. Hot apple cider...Pumpkins, spices, pumpkin spice candles...

Dreaming of APPLE BUTTER. Mmm...

Now to learn how to:
1. Make apple butter.
2. "Can" the apple butter.
3. Download "scrapbooking skills" into my DNA.
4. Give apple butter as gifts to people with cute little scrapbookey tags.

It Begins.

Welcome to a day in the life of Aaron, Kelly, Ian and Ana, starting tomorrow, and lasting till late October:
4:45am: Aaron stumbles out of bed and goes to work at the cafe 6am: Kelly is awakened by Ian climbing into bed with her.
6:15: Kelly realizes she will not be falling back to sleep, and get out of bed. Takes shower. 7:30: Ian awakens at the time Kelly should have awakened. Sesame Street, breakfast, coffee. 8:00: Kelly wakes Ana up so she doesn't sleep in till 10.
9:30 if they're lucky: Kelly, Ian and Ana go for walk, or have playtime at home with toys and not-toys.
11:15am Aaron comes home, Kelly goes to work till 2:30
2:45: one of the Grandmas arrives to relieve Aaron so he can coach.
3:00pm Kelly assistant coaches high school girls soccer
3:00pm Aaron coaches middle school boys soccer
5:15pm Kelly and Aaron arrive home, make dinner, then find ways to entertain the kids until their glorious bedtime.
8:00pmish Bedtime, obviously.
9:00pm Kelly picks up the chaos, washes dishes, and runs laundry.
Bedtime sometime, when sleep is convenient.

Smack me if I agree to this schedule EVER AGAIN.

Real.

You know, the hardest part about blogging is this choice we have to be real with our audience, or to re-create ourselves to appeal to people who are more likely to make comments. This is purely based on my own feelings about blogging, and how I feel when I sit down to write.

I will readily open my journal or songbook at home and jot down lyrics or my latest thoughts and prayers. I get lost in my words. I get lost in my prayers. I sink into a whole other world, and really, nothing can bring me out of it except me. I can write a last-minute Philosophy 101 term paper 8 hours before its due, with the help of a Hard Lemonade and Pride & Prejudice softly playing in the background. Now, I simply take advantage of a lyric or phrase that pops into my head, write it down quickly, and come back to it once the kids are asleep or at least eating.

But... I have this love/hate relationship with my blog. I sit down, and nothing emerges from my tired fingers. I want to be real. I want to open up to the people who care enough to click on my link. But it seems so distant! I feel like I'm just recording a witty outgoing answering machine message in hopes that SOMEONE will call!

I also feel like people in the blog world don't really want to know what's REALLY going on. Or, they just want pictures. Or they, too are annoyed with how fake blogging can sometimes become.

So if you care enough to read this far, here's a little bit about me as of August 31, 2009:
- I am married to a wonderful man and have two kids who I personally think are absolutely adorable.
- I am old enough to not fit in with teens, but young enough that I really don't know how to dance to Michael Jackson's "Thriller."
- I have a firm faith and strong beliefs, and I am full of love and hope for people.
- I love to dance. Although most people don't know it since I spent most of my life playing soccer.
- I wish I could do high school over again and invest more in my friendships.
- I have strong passions for ice cream and chocolate.
- I don't think its necessary to have a serious conversation when you just feel like laughing.
- I have been married 5 years. I have since then owned and sold a house, lived in two apartments, bought a café, had two kids by C-Section, coached and played multiple seasons of soccer, and drank more coffee than anyone I know... except my husband.
- We have had our financial ups and downs, specifically more downs than ups. We are currently in a down...
- I realized this week how much I don't pray, how much I need to pray, and how much it helps to pray. It brings peace to my soul.
- I love the smell of rain just as much as the smell of freshly baked bread.

And that's me.

Grandma and Ana Clare.

80.

Happy Birthday Grandpa Bill! (August 19th) Doesn't he look young?!

Little Boy.

in your blue faded chair, next to the lion coffee chest, light kisses your knee

So Here's the Thing.

I am guessing this winter, I will have more time to blog. Note that I skipped the whole fall season. That will be filled with Young Life contact work, coaching soccer when I can, working at my awesome job, raising my kids, and making an attempt to have dates with my husband.

If you fall into the "I depend on Kelly's blog to receive updates on her life" category, no fear, I will be back with updates soon, so you don't have to wait till November. (And you can always check Facebook.)

I am jealous of people who get time to put pretty things and words on their blogs right now. It seems like such a nice idea to get time to myself!

Lately, I have found myself getting pushed as a parent, a person, a believer... it makes me busy but so fulfilled.

Check back in a week for a real update. :)

Sneak Peek

On our way to Spokane...

Blank Walls.

I want this.

Five Years of Happy Chaos!

Aaron and I were just talking this morning about how quickly these past five years of marriage have FLOWN by. It actually feels like maybe a couple months or days have passed

I remember thinking five years sounded so long. Especially after a handful of ridiculously short relationships. I knew I wanted to marry and be married to Aaron forever, but WOW was that thought overwhelming!

Now that we've hit five years and its felt SO easy, I am so excited for what's to come.

"What have Aaron and Kelly done in five years?" you curiously ask.

Well, I shall tell you:

- We bought a house two months after we got married (Oct '04)
- Then, happily worked and saved money, and spent money, for the next year ('05 ish)
- Bought an already running, popular café, and quit a few jobs (Sep '05)
- Coached a few soccer teams (Sep '05 and beyond)
- Decided we weren't busy enough, and got prego (not the sauce) (Oct '05)
- Aaron enjoyed taking his pregnant wife to Vegas (May '06)
- Had a whopper. Only by whopper, I mean baby boy (Aug '06)
- Sold house moved into teeny apartment above café (Oct '06)
- Worked, lots. During naptime, during Grandma time...
- Smelled soup through floor (all the time)
- Got pregnant, then miscarried in week 4 (Sep '07)
- Ignored doctor, got pregnant again. (Oct '07)
- Got asked constantly if I was having twins (constantly)
- Aaron got to enjoy not being pregnant, but gave me lots of backrubs (constantly)
- Committed to being Young Life leaders (Summer '08)
- Had teeny baby (Aug '08)
- Coached more
- Aaron committed to being the Blaine Young Life team leader!
- ...and Voila, we're here in Aug '09, with an almost-1 and almost-3 year old!

"Whoa." You say.

"Yes, I know."

But you know, I wouldn't change a single thing. I don't believe in sitting around and waiting for things to happen, as lovely and peaceful as that sounds. I can rest when I'm 70. Unless I'm playing pro soccer.

This New Era

My Mom has reminded me multiple times to write down all the special things my kids have done or said. As I stressed out last night about not recording every little cute thing as I laid awake in bed last night, I had a realization... THANK YOU BLOG! And I don't intend that as a blasphemous comment one bit. I'm just thankful that I have been blogging since Ian was born, because now I actually DO have a lot of stuff recorded about my kids lives!

But I think I DO need to get more in the practice about writing things down. My Mom was so good about writing down cute stories about Jeremy and I, and I have always loved looking back and having a good laugh over them.

Monday Morning.

My little ray of sunshine.

My little ray of crazy sunshine.I just like my kids. The more I relax as a parent (but still maintain boundaries and discipline), the more I realize that my kids really are ok. Some say these years are the toughest, and I have to agree... so far. I guess we'll have to see once we hit the middle school years... :)

Passing Grade: E+

I knew my plan wasn't really feasible. A toddler and an 11 month old have nothing in common with mommy's perfect plan. In fact, they collided with my perfect plan. But here are the things I did NOT try:

- Eating at a café
- A trip through Costco
- Greek lessons

And here are some things I DID try:

- Reading to my kids. Note to self: Don't read books to your hyper kids as they bounce on the spare mattress. This does not foster a peaceful learning environment.
- Macaroni and Cheese. They loved it, I loved them, and it only cost me 36 cents. Thank you fake orange stuff. Don't know where I'd be without you.
- NOT taking a shower until the time presented itself. I usually try to rush these things. Instead, I waited til Ana was down, and it was Ian's quiet time. I even had time to shave half my legs.

Lesson learned today: less time spent managing equals more time going with the flow.

Tune in tomorrow for Plan Letter 3.

Test Number A.

Its problem solving month in the Tuski household!

First test: After breakfast and a SHORT amount of watching Clifford so Mommy can relax and have a cup of coffee, here's what will happen...

- Read read read, and more reading. I will read to my kids until no further can they stand it.
- After reading, its time for some independent playtime, and Mommy clean up time.
- For lunch, I will just feed Ian WHATEVER HE WANTS so he actually eats something. (Within reason)

My new goal is to not feel stressed about always needing to get out of the house. Which is hard, because its already been quite a while since we've had regular playdates with ANYONE. So if you haven't heard from me in a while, PLEASE call me!

Test begins... now. :)

We just spent a really great weekend with all our family. We were reflecting on it this morning. This was my favorite part of the conversation...

"Ian, who do you love more... Mommy or Daddy?"

"Talia." grinned Ian.

Typical.

Thursday Morning.

- Yesterday, Ana said "Uh-oh" when she dropped some food onto the floor. She continued to say uh-oh throughout the day. Then she kept saying mama as she crawled around the house, and mimicked my syllables as I said me-ow for a kitty cat. She's not even 11 months yet! I think I'm in for it.

- Ian is sitting on the potty watching Bob the Builder right now. I'm kind of afraid that from now on, he's going to associate Bob the Builder with having to go potty. Eh... whatev.

Just had to share a few of my happy moments as a mom. I've been feeling to down on myself as a parent lately, so these little things make me feel happy in my heart. :)

Toddling.

So, after last weekend's glorious adventure on the Washington Coast, I seem to have attained a new, fresh outlook on parenting, work, eating... ok everything! Yes, I know this feeling will fade. But my motivation doesn't have to.

My friend Tarena always has great stuff on her blog. She recently posted a link to another blog about the "No Spend Month."... an AWESOME idea. I followed more and more links till I came up with this list. Credit goes to the author of preschoolmama.com. She is a former Montessori preschool teacher, and someone with great advice for many things.

We have been having problems with getting Ian to eat food (yes, ANY food!), stay in his bed at bedtime, potty training, constant whiiiinnning... you name it, he's going through it. They don't call it the terrible 2's and 3's for nothing!

Here's a GREAT list of food suggestions from Preschool Mama (she refers to the child as "her" but I guarantee you, my Ian is no "her":

1. Try other ways of getting her to eat her veggies. Puree lightly cooked mixed vegetables, and use them as sandwich spread.
2. Lower your expectations. We all know how great broccoli is for bright sparkling eyes, but if the only vegetable she eats is beet , that’s fine too.
3. Have a list of foods by the refrigerator, consisting of foods that she can eat without having to ask you. Include all her favorite fruits, nuts, and healthy snacks. Having her preferences listed out will make her feel important, and encourage her to reach for an apple or raisins, whenever she feels those pangs.
4. Use a sticker chart to reward her for vegetables eaten that day. Avoid cash treats - here’s a reward system that works even better.
5. Use portion sizes based on her age. She has to eat as many mouthfuls or spoonfuls of veggies as her age. Calculations like these make sense to a child.
6. It’s okay to choose unusual substitutes when she’s having a particularly fussy day. Ice cream over cereal works as well as milk.
7. Compromise if she’s addicted to sugar bomb cereals. Mix unsweetened cereal with sweetened. She gets her sugar fix, and eats the more nutritious cereals too.
8. Occasionally, change your dining setting to make things fun. Eat on plastic trays, or pie tins. Eat lunch in the garden or the balcony.
9. Above all, quit fighting over food. If there are some things she has a natural dislike for, let them go and find substitutes.

I love the idea of presenting "ok" foods on the bottom shelf that Ian can grab any time. Foods I'm choosing: Yogurt, Fruit, Veggies, and pre-cut cheese!

I'm going to start with that, then move on to all the other battles we're going through. Heck at least if my kid's happy and well fed, I'm doing a pretty good job.

Grayland.

feet embrace glassy sand
as waves crash gently on the earth
not far from the tender dunes

hair and wind collide
as reeds sway and sand blows
this place calms us

we stop and listen
as giggles and waves sing to the wind
hands kiss the sand

this treasure we hold

one moment of embrace forges dreams
here we last forever

Oh Look I'm in a Nutshell.

Wow, its been a while since I've posted on here. Every time I think to sit down and blog, I find something else to do. Either clean my house or attend to my kids in some way, or be OUTSIDE. Its been so heavenly to be able to just throw the kids in the stroller or the car and go somewhere! I may not get around to blogging again soon, so here's my life in a nutshell...

- Soccer coaching seasons are over for both Aaron and I. This means more time with each other and with our kids, and more time for me to think about good meals instead of "...sorry, looks like we're having Nuggets again."

- Young Life Club is done for the year. It was interesting to be part of a "first year." (Young Life has been on hiatus in Blaine for two years). We learned a lot about today's youth, and about our strengths and weaknesses as leaders. Now we're praying about next year, and I personally am praying for some direction.

- Ian continues to develop into a sturdy almost three year old boy. My sister-in-law Amanda once told me that 2 1/2 was worse than 2, and 3 1/2 is worse than 3. I agree fully with the first one, therefore I am terrified of what's to come. I believe Ian has completely broken free from the mommy bond, and is bearing full-force into childhood. Scary. But fun!

- Ana is developing into the funniest little petite almost one year old. She's fully crawling, trying to stand, babbling like CRAZY, and can't stop laughing. She LOVES wrestling Ian, but sometimes gets hurt. She's still low in percentiles, so we are giving her all the milk and food we can. Two teeth now! I think. (She won't let me look in her mouth). She's also waving, clapping, and dancing. I forgot how fun 10 months old was!

- Aaron is developing into a sturdy 30 year old... oh wait, that's not one of my kids. But really, he's almost 30! We're getting OOOLLLLDDD.

As for me, I guess I just keep trucking. I love my life and the people in it. I'm having a great time now that its sunny and can go anywhere with the kids. My weight is finally really dropping off (if I'd stop eating ice cream it might even more). Our apartment is mostly put together and clean. I wish I could paint the walls. (Its not a matter of ability, we're just not allowed to).

Lately my prayer has been that God would make me satisfied with where I am. And that I would be satisfied just walking with Him. I've become a person who appears dissatisfied with my life, and its really not true. Emanate joy. That's my new goal.

Thank You Odi.

Odi,

Thank you for the cupcake, it was really good.

It tasted good on my hand, too.Here, let me give you a kiss.
Oh, I forgot about the wrapper! Yuuuummmm...Happy Birthday Odi!

Peanutbutter and Gratitude.

At lunchtime yesterday, I was making my own turkey and cheese sandwich while Ian sat in front of his plate, with a Peanutbutter and Jelly Sandwich, Broccoli and Ranch. In my opinion, this was a magical combination. I had even cut the sandwich into a dinosaur shape.

As I hungrily grabbed the Turkey out of the fridge, I hear a "nooope."
"Yes, Ian?" I asked.
"Prpfjsh," Ian said. He likes to keep me guessing, which I assume is the reason he still isn't saying full sentences. Its a game.
"How ya doin' on that yummy sandwich?" I asked him.
"Nooope."

And so, our conversation continued, with lots of whines (from both of us) and some stern words. At one point, I stopped in my tracks, as I said "Be thankful I made you ANYTHING, Ian." I felt like as I said it... well, I don't know how to describe it.

I've always known God speaks to me in audible whispers. Especially when he's HAD IT with me and I'm just not listening. This time, I heard him speaking the exact same words to me as I was saying them to Ian. "Be thankful for what I've given you," God said to me.

I stopped, and listened. Again, the words came out of my mouth, almost yelling at Ian "BE THANKFUL!" And it felt like God was just YELLING at me.

I don't need any more than what I have. Biblically, as long as we have forgiveness and some daily bread, we don't need anything more. I have my daily bread, coffee, family, occasional sweets, etc. I don't need more. I have a car that WORKS. I have a warm place to sleep, and to protect my kids on cold days. I don't need anything more. I even have internet and a TV. I honestly sometimes want to THROW them out the window (the second story window), and cancel our fancy Comcast-ness.

My prayer lately has been "Lord please make me satisfied," and I think I'm getting there.

Just a short blog before I shut the computer off for the day.

I remember as a freshman in high school, being asked "Kelly, why are you ALWAYS SMILING?" And I remember thinking in my head "Well, I'm a Christian. I have no reason not to smile." But I never said it.

That song "I'm so happy, so very happy, I've got the love of Jesus in my hea-ah-ah-ah-art" just popped into my head.

My thought is, am I emanating that happiness in my own life, and to those around me? I don't ALWAYS have to be happy about what happens in my life, but I can emanate the joy that comes from knowing Christ.

Thanks Bro.

Thanks to 1) my brother and 2) his hand-me-down digital camera, I managed to shoot these pictures this weekend. Yay for help from a professional and a NOT-crappy camera!

These are pics of Aaron's parents' yard.

Sea Links Golf Course.

The men (Ian wouldn't just "go over there")

I and my parachute and ma in her sun hat
had just settled down for a long springtime nap.

Look, no RED EYE! YAaaaaayy!!!

Hmm.

So, I am having a moment of self-realization, and feeling its ok to blog about. Its not as much a journal entry as it is a God moment and questioning my perspective. If anyone has thoughts on this, feel free to respond. And if you are in the category of people I'm describing, please take this as a generalization, and not that I am pinpointing any one person.

I have a hard time asking God for anything. I want to be thankful. I want to be satisfied with what I have, never asking for anything more, and never needing anything more. I feel there is too much going on in the world--too many people out there living destitute, either physically or spiritually--for my requests to really matter.

I am a strong Christian, with a strong faith. I believe we are sinful, that we have faults, but that God's grace covers us.

I don't really believe I deserve much. I have a good life, a GREAT family and friends, and I have pretty much what I need, and a little bit of what I want. In our financial situation, our parents have been such a blessing in so many ways. We really are blessed as far as being "taken care of."

But, I want our family to be independent. I don't want to depend on people financially, I don't want to have to ask for babysitting all the time, and I'd LOVE to not be on the government programs we're on, although I'm thankful for it.

I have heard people tell stories in church about how once they put faith in God to provide financially--once they let their worries go and put all their trust in Him-- they saw results. But I don't want to do that "just because I think God will provide for me." I want to do that BECAUSE I want to follow God, and not because I NEED something. Does that make sense?

Hmm... I don't really know how to conclude.

Off to play frisbee with Ian.

The Great Outdoors...

Aside from the flu we've had the past week, I have had such an urge to be outside and adventurous lately. Which is why I haven't blogged in quite a while, or that often. And I have to let you readers know, it'll get even worse. I want to experience things so fun I forget to take out my camera.

That said, yep, we're doing fine. Just busy...

Easter...

After red-eye removal, sharpening and recoloring!
Notice Lulu in the middle, and how "Amanda" she looks!This is Ana's new "Look."

And our family, the only "good" pic that turned out!

(Thank you for the promise of a hand-me-down, Canon digital camera, Jeremy!) (Not SL-R)

Weight.

Last week, the message at church was about "Crowd Following" and denying yourself. In Luke 9:23, the author talks about denying yourself, taking up your cross, and following Christ. When I think of Jesus carrying his cross to the hill, I think about how heavy the cross was. Jesus was carrying the weight of our sins. He was carrying US and all our burdens on his back.

So I was sitting in church thinking about my life and the decisions I make. I thought about how overwhelmed I have been with life lately. I thought about how simple it would be to just drop everything and stay home with my kids, who deserve more than what I give them, or spend more time with Aaron, who is in the same boat as the kids.

Then it was like something clicked in my head, and I realized... I don't have to be burdened by all this! Sure, I am a mom, a wife, a coach, cafe owner and worker, a Young Life leader, a soccer player, and joining the worship team. Not to mention being a cafe owner and only having money budgeted for food. Sure, I have to stay up 2 hours after everyone's in bed so I can fold laundry, organize my week, etc.

NOTHING is as heavy and burdensome as what Jesus Christ had to bear for us and our sins.

To deny oneself is to throw off these burdens and simply follow Christ. I can do that. In the busiest time of my life, I can do that.

.667 and 2.667 (My kids' ages!)